An Old Joke
An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints.
"I see spots before my eyes," he said.
"It's due to old age," said the doctor.
"No food agrees with me," said the man.
"That too is due to old age," said the doctor. "The digestive system becomes weaker as we grow older."
"My back is giving trouble," persisted the man. "Sometimes the pain becomes unbearable."
"Old age," said the doctor.
This was too much for the man.
"Why do you go on saying 'old age, old age'," he screamed. "If you cannot cure me, say so. I'll go elsewhere."
"See how easily you lost you temper," said the doctor. "That is another characteristic of old age."
The Best Artist
A despotic sultan who was blind in one eye invited three artists to paint his picture.
"If you do a bad portrait, I will punish you," he warned, "but if you do a good one I will reward you. Now start!"
The first artist produced a picture that showed the sultan as he was: blind in one eye.
The sultan had him executed for showing disrespect to his monarch.
The second artist showed him with both eyes intact.
The sultan had him flogged for trying to flatter him.
The third artist drew him in profile, showing only his good eye.
The sultan, pleased, rewarded him with gold and honours.
A Man Who Love Bread
A man eating in a restaurant called the waiter and complained that he had been given only one loaf with his meat dish.
"I like lots of bread," said the man. "Remember that next time."
The next time he came the waiter served him three loaves. "This is better than the last time," said the man. "But I would have liked more bread."
The next time he came the waiter served him five loaves but sill the man seemed unhappy. Later the waiter told the cook about the man. The cook said he would see to it that the man was fully satisfied the next time he came.
Two days later the man came again. The waiter alerted the cook who alerted the bakery with whom he had placed an order for a loaf 2ft wide, 3ft thick and 6ft long. The bakery delivered the loaf to the restaurant, and the cook and the waiter triumphantly carried the loaf to the customer. The customer stared at the loaf in disbelief.
"This is the last time I'm coming here!" he announced getting up angrily from his chair and throwing his napkin on the table. "I keep telling you I want more bread and here you are once again serving me just one loaf!"
