" yes sir this is her " I had just picked up the phone. Dr.Smith was calling me.
" I have some bad news I think you should come in "
" okay, I'll be there soon "
Damn what the hell could possibly be going on now. Bad things always seemed to happen to me.
I put on my cheetah print two piece and let my hair down.
Sliding on my black fur slides I grabbed my keys, locked up and I was on my way to the Dr.
.........
" Hey Mrs.Harris " I waved.
" I'm here to see Dr.Smith , he recently called me "
" oh yes baby he's been waiting on you, go on back to his office "
I proceeded.
Knock knock..
Once he saw it was me he smiled.
" Good morning Gorgeous "
I smiled.
" what's up what's the bad news "
" our tests show you've been severely damaged and like I said before that heals but the fact you will never be able to bear children may not "
" what? " a tear fell down.
" you won't be able to have your own children Mrs.Lotus "
" I'm sorry I have to go " I got up rushing back home.
" Karlae there are many other ways you can get a child " he called after me.
I wasn't trying to hear it I was already out the doors. Tears constantly falling.
I sat in my car for about 5 minutes without even cranking up to go. My forehead was on the steering wheel while my eyes were bloodshot red. I had been crying non stop.
I wanted my own little Nayali or Little boy it didn't matter but now I can't have neither one.
My phone had buzzed.
Unknown number : Good morning beautiful
Me : who's this?
Unknown number : Dwayne
I didn't even text back I wasn't in the mood.
I had finally drove off to go home. I felt it. I could just feel myself going into depression the same way I did 3 years ago.
My phone buzzed again.
D: no text back???
I just looked and locked my phone back.
D : Are you okay?
I was now in my bed watching Finding Dory. Eating Ice Cream from my freezer.
Knock knock.
I looked a mess.
" who is it "
" Nayali "
I miss her. I opened the door to not only find Nayali but her father too. They had brought me some McDonald's how sweet.
" Nayali go in the living room and watch TV and eat, I need to talk to Karlae really quick "
" okay daddy " she ran away.
He started touching my hair.
" what's going on with you "
Tears just started coming.
" Dwayne I can't even have kids because of something done to me 3 years ago!! "
" I don't know what the hell to do but cry and pray to God it isn't true, I have had a nasty tragic life " he was now hugging me.
" I'm so sorry, what happened to you 3 years ago? He asked curiously.
" I was raped by my nasty ass uncle " I said in the crook of his neck.
" damn " he held me tighter.
" that's the reason the man attacked me , cause my uncle somehow told him he used to rape me"
" oh it makes sense "
" Do you want to come upstairs and watch Finding Dory with me " I asked hoping he'd say yes.
" sure I'll be up let me check on Nayali" he said.
I began walking up the stairs.
Few minutes later he was knocking on my door.
I opened it.
" it's okay, We can share Nayali she can be your daughter "
" that's so sweet of you I would love that but it still wouldn't be the same "
" Come here "
I walked over to him.
" strip naked, right here right now " I was surprised he said this.
" why "
" don't worry I'm not trying to have sex with you, at least not yet " he laughed.
I had already felt uncomfortable with my body since I was raped.
I had took off my bra. My nipples were now exposed. I put my arm over them. My panties were next and I was in my birthday suit.
He was walking me over to my full body length mirror.
" you see this body " he said referring to my small frame.
I shook my head yes.
" what don't you like about it ?"
" just about everything "
" everything looks perfect to me "
" I hate how my body has these permanent scars due to my rape internally and externally "
" well I just see them as battle scars and you won the battle "
I couldn't help but smile.
" can I put my clothes on now "
" sure you can I just wanted to show you how amazing you were, really "
I smiled again.
" I don't just want your body. I want your mind and soul too " he said lying next to me in bed.
And I couldn't wait to give it all to him. He just made me feel so beautiful.
