i guess it was just another day i had just woken up, and as per usual i was tired from crying uncontrolebly and not being able to sleep because the internet exsists and yet again i watched All of christians videos and read so many fanifictions, oh how i wish one of those situations really came true *sighs* i kept thinking to myself how much other people loved him just as much as i did and i had never even met him, no one is as nice as he is, why is that.... anyway where was i oh yes it was a school day. i hated school no just becuase i didn't like it but becuase i constantly felt embarrased and hated my life, people constantly would walk into me and yell things down the corridor i just wanted to blend into the wall, i looked at my timetable... Maths, pe, art, drama and german maths firstly i sit next to the prettiest and coolest girl in the year and made an idiot out of myself by not comunicationg in case i messed up the situstion. pe: i would never have a partner or anyone too work with and i would have to show my tighs and arms that were a mess both covered in scars, cuts and bruises diffrent shades of purple or green where the girls just pointed at me and laughted to each other i just hated my life even though nothing was that badly wrong i had a good family who loved me but i always feel guilty for wanting more is that so bad? Anyway i survived the day and got home and cried, cried becuase i was not good enough, cried becuase i was worthless and so i guess i turned to hurting myself once again i couldn't keep doing this somthing had to change but the truth is i don't know how anything could get better... it was 11:57pm and i turned to youtube i loved videos from youtube they just let me forget everything for a while... Christian novelli was my favorite he just seemed to be the same as me but more cool and he gave me confidence! but that night i couldn't face being such a mess i packed a bag and left.....
ARGH I'M SORRY THIS PROBARLY WONT EVER GET READ I DONT KNOW WEATHER TO RIGHT ANYMORE ABOUT MEETING CHRISTIAN I HOPE YOU DIDN'T GET TO BORED READING THIS AND HOPEFULLY PEOPLE MAY ENJOYED IT IM SORRY ANYWAY THANK YOU :)
