Man Up (A Brendon Urie/Brallon Fanfiction)

Chapter 21

Although I had the thoughts no one ever heard them right.

Dallon's PoV

They don't know what's wrong with him.

No amount of pills or therapy will break him. He's just aggressive. He won't tell anyone what happened to him in the alley, so the press have made shit up about rape and drug use. They turn it on me, too. Say I'm abusing him. They can't diagnose anything. They can't do anything to help him. He's violent. He's angry all the time. We're just having to live with it.

However, sometimes I'll say something and he'll turn to me and smile, and I'll see the Brendon we lost a long time ago. The Brendon that laughs at the tiniest of things and cares so deeply about his friends. It's like he's still in there somewhere, fighting to get out. Fuck, I miss him so much. Even though he's hit people, including me; even though he's giving up; even though he hates me for trying to help him. I'm still so in love with him. I've decided to put our relationship on hold until he gets better. He will get better.

I watch him across the small bar as he throws another shot down his throat and shudders. He's sitting alone, as always after shows. He looks up and sees me staring, and I search his eyes for anything that might be Brendon coming back. Nothing. They're cold and hard. He scoffs, turning away from me and ordering another shot. I sigh and try and listen to the different conversations around me. Most of them are Brendon related. Things like medication and therapy.

I watch Pete stand and go over to him, and my stomach twists up in nerves. They talk quietly for a minute, Brendon seemingly calm. It looks like they're talking about me, as Brendon flashes me with a sudden gaze and I look away. I watch, a lot of people do, at a person brave enough to talk to Brendon right now. The rest of us have hardly said two words to him, instead giving him what he wants, agreeing with what he says, before shuffling away. It's truly admirable.

I look over to Patrick, who's also sitting alone, also watching the pair talk. I sigh and pick up my drink, wandering over to him and sitting beside the smaller man. He doesn't say anything, or even shift his gaze away, but he knows I'm here.

"I see the way you look at him." I start nervously, taking a sip of my drink so I don't have to see his reaction.

"W-What?" Patrick stammers nervously.

"You like him, don't you Patrick?" I say, and he frantically indicates for me to lower my voice.

"As a friend, yeah, I mean, he's my best mate, we've always been close and—"

"Patrick," I whisper with a smirk, "You like Pete, okay? Because he likes you too."

"H-He does?"

"He told me when we were out looking for Brendon. I wasn't going to say anything, but I want you two to have something that me and Brendon never had and I don't want you to waste your fucking life with anybody else." I say in a rush, my voice cracking slightly towards the end.

"Dallon... I don't know what to say... I—"

"Just tell him how you feel, Stump. You'll be together by the end of the night, I promise. Don't make the mistake I did, and never tell them, letting them get with someone else..."

I trail off when I notice Pete and Brendon's voices getting louder and louder. It alerts everyone else in the bar and everyone else's conversations slow to a stop. They're shouting now.

"You don't know anything about me, Pete! You don't know what it's like—"

"To be depressed? To be suicidal? I think I fucking do, Brendon!"

I see tears of pure rage spill from Brendon's eyes.

"You don't know the half of it! You don't know what she was like!"

"That's because you've never opened up to anyone enough! We're here for you Brendon, we love you, and all you do is shove us away."

"Yeah, and Audrey told me she loved me too, right after she'd stubbed a cigarette out on my arm or beaten me with my own belt or starved me 'till I passed out. I held the hands that beat me! I kissed the lips that belittled me! Why the fuck do you think I believe that love shit anymore?"

I stand up and all attention turns to me.

"So all those times I told you I loved you, and you said it back, you never believed it?"

Brendon opens his mouth, but struggles to find anything to respond with, so closes it again. There's a full minute of complete silence. Brendon looks round at us all, crying, furious.

"You don't understand. I'm going to bed." He snaps, before shoving Pete out of the way and disappearing. We all watch him go. Pete stands, crying, in the middle of the bar, and I motion Patrick to go and comfort him. He nods and obeys, rushing and pulling Pete into a hug. They then disappear into the corner to talk, and I see Patrick flash a small smile in my direction.

I keep watching them. I watch Pete's expression soften and they both start smiling. I find myself smiling too, out of happiness for them. Eventually, Pete pulls Patrick in for a deep, passionate kiss. It's so precious. They come back to me and we sit and talk, and for a few minutes I've almost forgotten about Brendon, and I think Pete has too.

---

This is when it all goes wrong.

Zack charges into the bar, having previously gone after Brendon to check he hadn't done anything stupid. He stands panting, horrified.

"It's on fire," he whispers, "It's on fire."

The entire bar falls silent again.

"What's on fire?" I say, almost yelling, standing up so quickly I push the table over. It falls to the floor, all the drinks smashing loudly. Zack turns to me, eyes wide in fear.

"The bus, and Brendon's... still in there."