I Lied, I'm Dying Inside

Chapter One

Hello there.
I am Cassandra, Cassie for short.
And I'm going to be completely honest with you, right now.
I absolutely hate my life.
After my father left when I was simply five years old, my mother became a drug addict, her way of dealing with the pain, I suppose.
We were kicked out of almost every apartment, because my Mother, known to me as Marissa, refused to stop smoking.
I had to start taking care of myself around six years old, and it wasn't easy for me.
I suppose I should tell you what I look like.
I'm very thin, most likely underweight. My hair is thick and curly, the color of dark brown. It hangs about to my thighs, since I've never bothered to cut it and we couldn't afford someone professional.
My eyes were the color of a stormy ocean, with strange flecks of green. I am fairly pale, my skin never gets much sunlight.
And yeah, that's pretty much it. As of right now, I'm listening to my music, which (as ridiculous and emotional as this sounds) makes the pain inside go away for a little bit. Through the loud noise of my headphones, I hear Marissa call to me in a scratchy voice.
"Cassandra, for the last god damn time, git your ass down here and make dinner!!!"
I sigh and gently put my worn headphones on the beige drawer beside me. I get off the creaky bed in my small room and pad down to the kitchen, which of right now is a mess.
"What would you like for dinner, Marissa?" I question in a tired tone. Today has been my first day at a new high school here, in New York, and I was exhausted.
"Whatever is in the cabinets," she snapped. "Now, go, and hurry the fuck up because I need to leave soon."
She's didn't over any explanation of
where she was going, and I didn't need one. She brought a man home almost every night, and though I pretended I didn't I know what they were doing,
I knew.
But enough about that particular situation.
I open the off white door to the cabinet and see a lone chicken soup can.
Looks like I'll need to go shopping tomorrow.
I pop it open and pour into a scratched up plastic bowl, then heat it up in our microwave, which makes a few popping sounds.
It beeps, and I take the soup out after grabbing a spoon. I give it to Marissa, and she rolls her eyes and told me I could have been quicker.
I ignore her and start to head out of the kitchen, before she stops me.
"Aren't you gonna eat anythin'?" She questions, and I turn around and shake my head.
"I had a big lunch."
False.
I had half an apple. But to be fair, my dinner yesterday had been an entire bowl of cereal, so I had decided that the next day I wouldn't have breakfast or dinner so I could get rid of all the calories that I had consumed last night.
She scoffed, seeing through my lie.
"You're ginna become more of an ugly bitch than ya are now if ya don't eat somethin'."
I was confused, I was simply making sure I didn't consume too many calories. I had no idea what her problem was. But then again, I never did. So I just let it go, as I always did. I sighed again, bid her goodbye, and went to my room, falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.