Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Kashaf 24 February

Agar kisi cheez me aaj kal mujhe maza ata hai toh woh Zaroon ko tang karne me ata hai agar sach kahun toh. Woh itna helpless sa khada hojaya karta hai mere samne.  Baazdafa taras to ata hai mujhe uspe par phir maza usse dugna ata hai.
Jab maine tayyar hona shuru kia tabse hi usne chillana shuru kar dia tha. Par maine bhi uski kaha sunni thi.
Mujhe sajna sawarna baki ladkiyon jitna kabhi bhi zada pasand nahi tha magar ammi ne shaadi se pehle mujhe strict instructions diye the
"Kashaf hargiz hi main tumhe pheeke kapdo me nahi dekhna chahti. Shaadi se pehle ki baat aur thi magar ab tumhe ache se tayyar hokar rehna chahiye. "
Khair ammi ka mann kare toh wo roz mujhe office me bhi puri tarah se tayyar kar bheje.
Zaroon bar bar mujhe pukar raha tha
"Oho Kashaf ab aa bhi jao. Ab nahi dair ho rahi kya hume? "
Maine uske phizul sawal ka jawab dena zaroori nahi samjha aur kuch 15-20 minute bad neeche ayi.
Woh kuch dair toh meri aur gaur se dekh raha tha. Uski nazrein mujhe embarras karne ke liye kafi thi. Jab usne mere is nervousness ko notice kiya to woh samne aa khada hua aur halke se kaha
"Bohot khoobsurat lag rahi ho. "
"Shukriya. "
Maine dabi awaz me nazrein uthate huye kaha.
Usne mujhe apni odh kheecha aur haste huye kaha
"Tumhe pata hai maine aaj tumhare bare mein ek baat notice ki. "
"Kaunsi baat? "
"Yehi ki tum bhi baki ladkiyon jaisi hi ho. "
"Isse tumhara kya matlab hai? "
Maine ankhe chadhate huye kaha
"Yehi ki tum me bhi koi aam baatein hai.Main nahi sochta tha ki Kashaf bhi kabhi itna time tayyar hone me lagayegi. Tum bhi kabhi apne shauhar ke liye aise tayyar hogi. "
"Yeh toh ammi ke wajah se warna main kabhi bhi nahi hoti. "
"Sirf ammi ke liye? "
Usne pucha mere haton ko chorte huye.
"Haan.. "
Maine kuch confused hokar kaha.
"Bohot zaalim ho yaar tum aur hargiz hi mujhse mohabbat nahi karti. "
"Aab sajne ke beech mohabbat kaha se agaya? "
"Rehne do Kashaf tum nahi samjhogi. "
Usne kuch disappoint hote huye kaha.
"Chalo chalte hai warna late hojayenge. "
"Zaroon.. "
maine uski narazgi ko mehsus karte huye kaha.
Woh ruk toh gaya par usne koi jawab nahi diya.
"Zaroon tum samjhaoge tab samjhungi na. "
"Kuch cheezein kahi nahi jati Kashaf sirf samjhi jati hai. "
Woh kuch khaffa toh zaroor tha par main use manana janti hoon isliye maine uske hath ko thamte huye aur use zor se apne kareeb khichte huye kaha
"Tum yeh jante ho na ki tum kitne ahem ho mere liye? Kyu ki main yeh achi tarah janti hoon main kya maine rakhti hoon tumhare liye. Aur yeh saja toh unke liye jata hai jinhe apko impress karna hota hai. Tumne toh pehle hi mujhe is tarah pasand kiya isliye main janti hoon tum mujhe humesha acha hi samjhoge. Aur mujhe tumhe yeh kehna toh nahi hoga ki yeh jo main saari chizein karti hoon tumhare liye hai. Main yeh zahir karne me belief nahi rakhti."
Maine uske sar pe apne sar ko rakhte huye kaha.
Usne mujhe ek halki si muskan di aur kaha
"Bohot dramatic hoti ja rahi ho. "
"Asar tumhara hi hai. "
Iske baad hum ammi ke ghar ke liye nikal gaye. Waha kya hua?  Lambi kahani hai bhai fursat se likhungi.

P.s Ik its a horrible part without any feel, but just couldn't end up writing something satisfying. Pardon me this time friends.