Life sucks

Hi im 13 years old and i live in a big family which mostly hates me ,Im a babysitter they only time they want something from me is when they need a babysitter its like thats all im needed for.If i was gone i dont think they would be upset I think they would be more upset that there is nobody to wacth the kids. I am the second oldest child the oldest is my big brother who dreads me ,whenever his freinds are over he tells me too kill myself and that im a  waste of human chromosones sometimes i think hes right .Im annoying and i never stop singing ,but i sing because im alone and depressed and not happy and wish i had someone in my life that cares about me alot.But i do my grandmother shes the reason i love life because she has been through more shit than any one i know she has had about 15 strokes and like 5 heart attacks shes my idol my happiness and shes in the hospital and im not aloud to see her because i have poison all over my leg.My mom just takes my big brother instead (the one who hates me ) yeah i really miss her and cant wait to see her . My sisters hate me too because they think i hate them which i dont look im depressed but everyone says its just a fase and that i dont have it but if i went to the doctors they would propably tell me im depressed so let me tell u a little bit about myself im 13 i go to a public school i have never wroten one of these but its really fun and it helps me think .I like to write alot but i dont tell anyone i was bullied this year by a guy i used to date but thats not what this story i about this story is about why life sucks .heres why when you want someone u cant have them and ur always the one who ends up getting hurt. When ur parents always ask u to clean or babysitt but i do get paid i will tell u that so i geuss its ok but its usually like 3x a week and you cant really hang out with ur freinds if ur stuck babysitting.when the one person u love alot is dieing in the hospital and you cant even go see her because u have poision on your leg .when ur not suicidal but if there was a car that came right in front of you ,you propably wouldnt keep walking you would propably let them hit you just like robbers if they tryed to shoot you ,you propably wouldnt stop them you would say go ahead .When u have to make people happy even though your sad but you dont want to dissapoint your parents .When you want to die but you dont want your parents being so upset to where they think it was there fault .when you want to cut your self but theres no need because your already in so much pain.When your parents dont understand or accept who you are as a person .Look life may suck but one day people will come to realize that if they really love you they will accept you  for who you are or they wont and if they wont then u say if u really love me you will accept me if ur depressed tell someone maybe they can help you maybe all you needed to do was talk to someone THE END.

Ps.i hope you liked the book please comment what you thought about this book and please give me some suggestions on what book i should write about next .