Change Me (Phan)

Narcissus/Adrian

A/N: I don't know anything about the British school system as I am American. So the school system will be relatively American. Because I don't understand British schooling beyong year 9. Sorry, brits.

Dan was now thirteen. He had pretty much figured out that he was bisexual, by now, because there was a boy named Anthony in his grade that he fancied (but didn't tell anyone).

He had also learned that his evil younger brother was more narcissistic than Narcissus himself. Constant cries through the house of "Dan, look what I can do!" and "Dan, I'm so much more handsome than you." and "Dan, I bet you can't run faster than me!" In an annoying six year old voice.

But Adrian didn't get it. He didn't understand Schizophrenia and hearing voices (which had now progressed to far worth than Tabitha) and he didn't understand that maybe a self-centered four year old could emotionally hurt a "cool" year 9. He didn't get how hard it was to live with a homophobic dad when he was the homo that his dad had the phobia of.

Everyday he would hear screaming in his head. Haunting cries of faggot and gaylord and stupid and worthless and unlovable and asshole...... But Dan didn't care. He self-harmed to make the pain go away, which was very cliché and predictable for a schizophrenic person and sounded like a bad fanfic plot, but it was a temporary release from the pain.

Adrian had just walked into Dan's room. "Daaaanyul," he dragged. "I bet you can't draw a picture better than me."

Dan sighed. He knew this was one of his ignorant brother's stupid contests and that Adrian would always win no matter what, even if Dan knew his drawings were much better and his brother's were awful. Dan could draw. It was one of his many gifts. He could also sing, play piano, and act. The whole "acting" part came in handy, especially when his father was interrogating him.

His brother had asked him to draw what he dreamed of. While Adrian was off drawing pretty flowers and walruses, Dan was drawing what he had seen while asleep last night. He didn't draw his dream because Dan didn't have dreams. He had nightmares. There was a big difference. So he drew his nightmare, which was a completely shaded in piece of paper with a few white slashes made with an eraser.

Of course Adrian would declare himself the winner. "Get out." Dan said after his brother had bragged for a minute. His brother gleefully trotted out and shut the lights off, leaving Dan sobbing at the screaming in his head.