driving down the highway doing 80 as tears flood from my eyes
you ask if I will be ok
I always am.
I cry that I just want someone to love me for once and you say it will be ok
when I make a move and face rejection... it will be ok
when I better myself and fail to impress him... it will be ok
nothing is ok.
not my job, not my family, not my love life.
will it ever ALL be ok?!
I joke about death and wanting to die but the temptation of driving my car over a cliff or onto a roadblock is strong
the relief of not being anyone at all
no need to keep my job that consumes my life and provides endless unhappiness
no need to crave human touch, human kisses, human acknowledgement
no need to be bound by my family's ball and chain
peace. bliss. just giving up due to not being good enough.
