Twisted

Chapter One: Suicide

The bathroom tiles were cold on my feet, numbing them. I lean over the sink and look back at my reflection. I looked dull, thats the only way I could put it. My eyes had dark rings around them, my skin pale and my lips pale and chapped. I honestly looked like a mess. I gripped the sink tighter, my knuckles turning whiter. My reflection just stared back at me, not blinking or moving. The way I looked resembled the way I felt.

Completely depressed.

I run my hand along the edge of the sink, its cool on my hands and sends goosebumps along my arms. The light is off in the bathroom and so the tiny flashes of light dancing around the room seem foreign. Though, where their coming from isn't. The metal blade that is on the bench next to me is catching light from the sun outside. Each night for the past year I have looked at it, working up the courage to use it.
Tonight will be that night. I'm sick of being pressured into doing everything. My 'friends'  want me to do what they want but when I do it they judge me. Just because what I do is amusing to them but disgusted by others, including myself .

"Wow Phoebe, the braces really bring out the colour of your eyes."

"Shut up you fucking hoe and help me."

"Do this you spoilt brat."

Their words haunt me, all they did was yell. Always yell at me and tell me everything I was doing was wrong. I was never ugly, but they made me feel like a fucking monster. The things they would talk me into were the worst of the worst. I hated every moment of it. They wouldn't stop the insults until it was over and so I got rid of my pain only to push it onto someone else.

"Your weak," I say to my own reflection.

A memory flashes through my mind of when they made me go and get a year eight who had just started high school. The little girl had followed me to the bush behind the school with so much worry in her eyes. I didn't look at her, why would I? How could I? Because what came next would kill her from the inside out. The memory faded with me walking away, a frown deep on my face and in the back ground, the little girl hanging from the tree by her hair, struggling to hold on so it didn't all rip out. Laughter surrounded her, coming from no other than Kody, Lauren, Liv, Jo, Emily and Isabel.

I closed my eyes and pushed the memory away. Everything I did was wrong, and what I'm about to do is nothing better.

I pick up the small blade by the handle, the red plastic is the only colour in the room and in a way, it builds up a small amount of satisfaction for me. I look at it for what feels like ages, just running my hands up and down the cool metal. My heart is beating so loud, but all I can hear is my shallow breaths as I start to trail the knife along my fingers. I don't press it hard so I bleed until I reach the inside of my wrist. I pause before adding lots of pressure.
Blood pours out of where I cut running down my hand and onto the ground. I watch it fall, my head starts feeling light. Though, the satisfaction of seeing the bathroom covered in red creates a smile on my face as I loose consciousness and fall to the ground.