Fates Cruel Hand

Ouchies?

Pathetic. Stupid. Disgusting. Whore. Broken. Used...
Each word that came to mind was met with one thin line along my skin. I watched and sighed as the blood bubbled out of the small wounds that ran across my skin just below the crease of my elbow. I sat in silence the only sound being that of my tears and occasional drops of blood that landed and mingled on the bathroom tiles.
I didn't deserve life. I was disgusting. Filthy. A broken toy that no one would ever want.
I have been at Matty's home now for about a week or so. He's really nice to me and treats me with such care that it makes me feel so much worse because i know. I know that one day he'll leave me too. He'll realise how fucked up i am and leave.
The door handle to the bathroom gave a little wiggle before opening to reveal my saviour.
'Zane bud, what' he didn't finish his sentence as his eyes grew wide with fear. I think. He dashed over to my huddled up form that sat under the sink and began fretting.
'Oh God Zane, can you hear me? Zane look at me buddy. Answer me please. Zane?' He gently placed his hand on my cheek and tilted my head so that i was looking directly at him. His eyes held tears that were waiting to fall.
I looked at him confused. 'Why cry?' I asked, cringing at how horrible i sounded.
He let out a short bark of laughter before sniffling, 'because your hurt and i don't want to see you hurt. I was worried.'
I didn't understand but didn't have a chance to ask as he hauled me out from my hiding spot and into his bedroom.
He sat me on the bed while he rummaged through some drawers looking for something.
'Got it. Now let's get you cleaned up okay?' He said softly while walking back over and kneeling in front of me with a green bag.
Carefully and with such great care he cleaned my cuts, hushing me softly when i winced due to the sting of the alcohol wipes. Throughout it all he offered me praise and told me how proud he was that i wasn't putting up much fuss.
'There we are kiddo. All clean and bandaged.' He stood and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. This small action made my eyes grow wide and a blush appear on my cheeks. It was such a foreign thing to me. No one had ever kissed me whether it be on the head, cheek, lips. Nothing. Tears welled up in my eyes at the affectionate touch. It was something so simple but it meant so much to me.
'Hey hey why are you crying?' Matty came over and knelt in front of me, hands fussing over me but not knowing what to do.
I hicupped and launched myself off the bed and into his chest, sending us both tumbling to the floor.
'Zane are you okay?' Matty asked as his arms wrapped round me, holding me close while rubbing his hand in circles on my back.
I sniffled and nodded, burying my face further into his shoulder.
I dont know how long we sat like that but it seemed that neither of us were in any hurry to move, so i took what i could while it lasted. The ache on my wrist was no match for the ache in my chest at the thought of losing him. Its selfish i know, but i want Matty to stay with me.
'No leave me.' I whispered past the lump in my throat.
Matty just pulled me impossibly closer to him before whispering back, 'never.'