i'm sitting in the car on the way back to the dorm after a meeting at the office. i look at jinyoung's phone. he's on instagram scrolling through and i grab his phone from him.
@pinkcrush
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매우 오랜 시간 후 나는 잘 준비가 됐어! after a long day i'm ready to sleep! #소연 #SOYEON #pinkcrush
(a/n idk if the korean is correct don't kill me pls i just wanted to make it look legit and i'm not a koreaboo or anything like that okey dokey?)
i give him back his phone and lean back in my seat. "how was it today? like seeing her?" jinyoung asks. I close my eyes," i don't know I mean it was pretty bad but I guess I shouldn't really be the one that feels bad. I mean i wasn't the one that left."
"i mean I get it but also don't you think she had a reason to leave you?" he says.
"i'm sure she did but she never contacted me to tell me and i think that's why she's running away from me now. because she feels bad that she didn't tell me anything right?" i respond scratching my hair.
jinyoung
i need him to change his mindset.
he needs to forgive her and try harder to talk to her. i get that he's trying to respect her by leaving her alone but i know her and that's really not what she wants. she's too afraid to say it but she wants him to comfort her.
he's looking at his phone not paying attention to me so i text her.
to soyeon: how are you
there's no reply so i assume she's asleep. i shake my head.
to soyeon: you should tell him. he deserves to know. it's obvious there's still something there.
i turn off my phone and settle into my seat.
jaebum
i open my photos app and scroll far far far back.
i see a picture of us together. laughing. smiling.
i remember this moment so vividly. this was right before she left. jinyoung and jihyo had been trying to dance to troublemaker without any practice and just totally failed. mark was there and had sent the picture to me. i had contemplated putting it as my screensaver but didn't want it to get me in trouble.
i open the messages app.
i should send her something right?
no i can't.
no i'm upset i shouldn't do this.
why am i even considering this oh my god what is wrong with me.
jaebum you can't make last minute decisions like this it's not how you function
