Taehyung X depressed reader one-shot

One-shot

Over and over again the blade slices across your skin. Tears that continuously fall from your eyes mix with the blood staining your arms. You stare at the fresh cuts spread messily across your arm with horror.
'I did it again. How could I have done it again?! I promised Taehyung...' As the thought of your beloved best friend crosses your mind, it becomes hard to breath.

You clench your fists, forgetting about the blade in your hand, but the pain is numb compared to the pain in your chest. The pain caused by your aching heart. You throw the blade across the room in a fit of frustration and dig your face into your hands.
"I'm such an idiot!" You sob loudly, giving into the dark thoughts that always taunt your mind. "I should just die..."

The sound of the doorbell rings throughout the house, causing your whole body to freeze up.
"(Y/n)~ It's me! Open up!" Your heart drops at the sound of Taehyung's voice. You curse violently under your breath and push yourself to your feet, ignoring the agonising pain shooting through your arms. You look around frantically at the mess, your thoughts jumbled together.
"I'm letting myself in!" You hear Taehyung call. You instantly move for the shower, cranking the water on. You check the water and adjust it before stripping your shirt and pants off. You slide one arm under the water, muffling your cries with your other hand. Once the pain becomes bearable, you swap arms.
"(Y/n)?" Your hands tremble with pain, but you don't stop, you couldn't stop, you couldn't let Taehyung see... What would he think?

You shake the thought from your mind and take a deep breath in.
"I'm in the shower! I'll be finished soon!" You call out to him.
"Ok, I'll wait for you." He replies cheerfully. Hearing his cheerful voice only brings you more heartache, but you force it aside and concentrate on cleaning the blood away.

As much as it psychically pained you to do so, you run your hands over the cuts, thoroughly washing the blood away. You have to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from crying out, but whimpers still manage to escape your lips. There's a knock on the bathroom door which makes your whole body freeze.
"Are you ok in there?" You force a laugh.
"I'm fine! The water is just a bit too hot."
"Oh. Be careful silly, don't burn yourself." He says with a laugh before leaving. You sigh with relief and continue.

Once the blood is cleaned, you wash your face and step away from the shower, leaving the water still running. As quickly and carefully as possible, you dry yourself off. Once you've done that, you put on the clothes that you had prepared earlier and then proceed to wash the blade and hide it in the cupboard beneath the sink. You then find a cloth, dampen it and wash away any left over blood on the ground.

Once you're certain that there is no sign of blood left, you turn the water off and quietly search the cupboard for bandages. You only have time to wrap your hand up, so you just hide your arms with the sleeves of your hoodie, praying that blood won't soak through.

You finish up and leave the bathroom. It doesn't take you long to find Taehyung, who is in the kitchen cooking popcorn. He greats you with a big smile.
"What are you doing here?" You ask, trying your best to look as if everything was fine. Taehyung laughs.
"Don't tell me you've forgotten! We're watching movies today, remember?" You mentally curse. You had completely forgotten!

You laugh nervously.
"I'm sorry." Taehyung laughs again and waves it off.
"Don't worry about it. But~ Guess what I brought!" He does a quick waddle around the bench and over to you, making you giggle. That was one of the things you admired about Taehyung. His ability to always make you laugh, even when you feel like death.
"Which hand?" You think for a few moments before pointing to the right one.
"Ohhhhh! Wrong hand!" He reveals the piece of popcorn in his right hand. "Open wide~" You shut your eyes and open your mouth, allowing him to place the popcorn inside.
"Ok, so what's in your other hand then?" You ask after swallowing. Taehyung grins as he reveals the DVD held in his other hand. Your eyes widen as you take the DVD away from him.
"This is (favourite movie)! I love this movie!" Taehyung scratches the back of his neck, a light hue of red spreading across his cheeks.
"You were telling me how much you wanted to watch it again, so I brought it for us to watch today." You hug him tightly, avoiding the cuts to the best of your ability.
"You're the best TaeTae!" He hugs you back quickly before you release him, a big smile spread across your cheeks.
"I'll go put this on!" You say as you walk over to the TV. You quickly set the DVD up, and just as you finish, Taehyung walks over with the popcorn.
"This is going to be awesome!" Taehyung says as he plops onto the couch. You nod in agreement as you sit beside him, putting a handful of popcorn into your mouth.
"Hey... Before we start the movie," Taehyung stares at your badly bandaged hand, causing your heart to stop. "What happened to your hand?" You swallow the growing lump in your throat and force out a nervous laugh.
"I just- I accidentally cut myself earlier. I-I was washing up, and knife slipped..." You mentally kick yourself for the muddled words.
"Oh... You should be more careful then."
"Yeah... My mistake."
"It's not bandaged very well, want me to redo it for you?" Your heart begins pounding in your chest as a million thoughts hit you at once. What if he lifts your sleeve up? What if he notices that it isn't a wound that you would gain from accidentally cutting yourself? What if he needs a new bandage and sees the blade? What if he questions you?
"(Y/n)?" Taehyung waves his hand in front of your face and you return to reality.
"Oh, uh, s-sure, you really don't have to though." Taehyung smiles and shuffles his body so he's facing you.
"I want to help my best friend!" He holds his hand out. You stare at it before taking in a deep breath and hesitantly placing yours in his.