No Werewolf Left Behind

☯ Part 1 ☯

1825 nightmares . Should i even call them that? they arent really, they are memories. Alpha and Luna would want me to acknowledge them as memories as a sign of penitence so who am i to say no to my fellow alpha and luna. Who am i? Who actually am i? I have forgotten. Am i even worthy of a name after the devastation i have caused to my family , to the ones i loved most? Alpha and Luna say i should remember the pain and grief i have brought them and they love showing how by inflicting their pain onto me.

At first they spewed words at me such as 'killer' 'wh*re' 'freak'. I tried to harbour my feeling and not allow it to bring me down. But being sent to the cellar for 5 years you seem to have a lot of times on your hands. I discovered with every beating that it wasnt enough for what i truly deserve. I was a monster , i know that now. I done it and im paying the price for my own idiocy .

I have a feeling it may be 2 in the morning, one can never be sure in a cellar with no time and a peephole to look towards the sky. ' What i would do to go and run as my wolf for just an hour' i thought glumly.

I shook off my pathetic excuse for a blanket and brushed off my clothes which are too small for me. Who is going to see me anyway , its not like my knight and shining armour is going to bust down the doors anytime soon , hes had 5 years , a little too late if you ask me , damage is done. " Do i even deserve one?" i huff. Not like anyone is going to answer because my werewolf has endured most of the pain which has resulted in her not responding. That's the reason for me going down the psychotic route if i'm being honest. She was my best friend besides Charlie. She was always there in times of need and comforted me when others didn't, i depended on her and maybe that's the problem.

I crawl over to my corner, shackles scraping along the stone. I pick up my special stone' Rocky '. I was 12 when i choose that name . Thinking it was my new best friend but no one could replace Charlie, who was i trying to kid. With ' Rocky ' i scratched a line into the stone wall." There 1825. Huh im going to need more room soon " i whispered. I get to my feet slowly , not to wake anyone who may be wandering around at this time. i look beside my peephole and right on the left bottom corner holds a name scrawled in stone. Sayde. 'Now i remember' i thought while smirking. Good idea i did that on my third day when i started to realise that the beating where going to be regular, but why shouldn't they? i deserve more , they know it , i know it.

Alpha and Luna should of sent me packing , leaving me as dinner to the rouges . Rouges. the word disgustes me . They started it all but no one knows it. charlie knew it though, he knew everything . He knew they were coming , he told me in secret.

* Past *

" Charlie . why are you pacing like an idiot ?" i wondered

Charlie stopped suddenly and gave me a reassuring smile saying " well your related to this idiot so what does that make you huh?"

" Don't remind me , but i like to help charity whatever way i can and you're convenient enough" i snickered.

Charlie erupted into laughter " You sure you dont want to retract that comment, or else ill promise to tickle you until you find youself explaining to mum why theres pee all over the carpet"

" Okay, okay. But seriously, whats got you bothered? Is Emilea pregnant?!"i exclaim

" What ?! No! I'm just wondering about a problem , nothing you have to worry about Sai"

" MUM! CHARLIES GOT HIS MATE PREGNANT!!" I shout at the top of my lungs.

" what, darling? " mum calls from the kitchen.

" NOTHING NEVERMIND MUM " charlie hollers . " fine its only about a little rouge issue that ive discovered but I've settled it , dont worry. Mum and dad already agreed that we don't need to say anything so promise me you won't say anything Sai"

" Hmmmm, i dunno. you know ive always had a craving for ice cream?" I say dreamily.

" Ugh your a pain in the *ss, so much for respecting your elders" he mutters while getting our coats and exiting the house

" Charlie , your 18" I deadpanned. " Now lets get a move on . i want SMARTIES on top by the way!!"

* PRESENT*

That was the last time i brought up the issue. I should of pushed him , but no. 12 year old Sayde wanted an ice cream for her promise. How naive was i to think that Charlie had it under control when in fact i should of went to my father. The alphas always know what to do in a time of emergency. But because of my stupidity i'm stuck in this cellar which consists of me, 3 rats which ive named as Larry , Curly and Moe from Charlies favourite movie, insects that are unidentified and 'Rocky'. Its my punishment though , i have to accept that this is my fate. I'm meant to be blamed for Charlies death. I'm meant to be shamed in front of the pack. I'm meant to be beated with mystery tools my alpha and luna like to unleash on me. I'm meant to hate myself for what i caused the pack. I'm meant to accept it , because if i dont who will be here to save me?