Don't Forget Me, Please.

      I love myself, I guess. My hair is long and dark, and some may say it's beautiful. My  light blue eyes are wide, and forever open, with dark circles under them. I wear a white, almost translucent gown. My skin is so pale.. I'm pretty, I guess, from what I heard. But then again, that was when I was alive.

   I still ask myself how it happened- going from lovely and happy and breathing, just walking down the street to .. dead.

I could say so many things about how I regret going out that day, but that wouldn't do any good. As the weeks, months, go on I find myself drained of emotions. I am dull.

 But more than anything, lonely. It's so very quiet, by myself. I miss feeling. I miss warm hugs, eating, and kissing my mother and father bye. I miss him.

  Him. Oh, heaven, I miss that boy. I miss his smiles, his laugh, his humor, his teasing.. his walk, everything. Oh, I wonder if he remembers me. My hollow heart aches just thinking that he probably forgot me. 

 I'm getting ahead of myself. It was just a huge crush that I was working on until i died. I wondered what they thought, when they heard I was dead. I smile bitterly at the thought. I do know that they moved on.. They moved on.. so very fast.

 How could they?! How dare they forget me!

 After all I've been through.

Death has made me so angry and sad. I never knew ghosts could cry. I do now, surely, as my eyes are dripping red. It's funny how they are red. I've learned that ghosts' tears are different colors, depending on how they died. Mine are red for murder.

  Oh, I haven't told you?

How could I forget it?

           The afternoon air was warm, so I wore a white short-sleeved dress. I've always loved dresses. Some may say it's girly, but I don't care. I walked outside, humming a Lana Del Rey song, "Young and Beautiful".  A bird sang in a tree nearby and I smiled. It smelled so good outside. I was glad I went out, I need it. All that time spent inside really made me pale. I looked down at my arms. At least they weren't an unattractive pale. I blinked as a cloud moved in the sky, no longer blocking the sun. Heat pooled on my skin. I couldn't help but think how great it would be if he was here, holding my hand and enjoying the afternoon with him. I smiled again, and kept walking. I needed the exercise.

     My feet started to hurt in my shoes after a while so I bent down to take them off. Behind me, I heard a dog bark. I looked back; it was just a neighbor coming out to enjoy the afternoon too, probably. Something silver gleamed in his hand, and I recognized as a knife but then saw he was heading towards a pumpkin. It was the start of October, so it wasn't very cold yet. I waved and smiled at him, and turned back to my shoes. I took my time, enjoying the heat as I slipped them off. I gently massaged my feet; the back of them had blisters. I hummed happily. I couldn't wait 'til Monday to see him again. Just a nice smile was all I wanted. It warmed me thinking about it.

    The dog who barked earlier started up again, loud and quick. An ant crawled on my bare foot and I frantically tried to brush it off, the barking making me nervous. All too quick I felt a presence behind me.

     I looked back just in time to see the bright sun gleam and sparkle off a silver blade. Panic paralyzed me and suddenly it came down.

     And then, pain. And red. Everywhere.

I laugh bitterly at how careless I was. How could I not see it coming? A dog was barking like crazy, and still I ignore the signs.

Over and over I went through scenarios in my head of how I could've prevented it.

But I can't change the past.