Feelings, Dealings and Other Things

Broken

Broken hearted as a child didn't know when the love ever started.
Problem after problem sick of the fucking world
So hungry for attention I'm starving.
Leave it all behind the voices in my head keep taunting me.
I argue with my self
Mental patient within myself laughing to myself, I don't think the medication is gonna help me.
Let's face the facts
I've been trying to play the same cards I've been dealt for far too long.
Writing poems how I've never fitted in, how I've never belonged.
Everyday I take a long look at myself disgusted at what I see.
Don't get me wrong I love me, but like I said up above.
When did I start?
What is love?
Me, Im just trying to keep up,
but sometimes my head just won't lift up
No family,
never was, no one's ever here for me.
Suicide attempts botched they never worked as much as I'd like to be in a box.
Family doesn't know wrapped up in their own little world.
Pills full in my belly.
Sick,
but no one really sees me not that they would ever ask me.
Passive is what they'd call me
"She wouldn't hurt a fly."
But I hurt someone everyday.
I'm broken
Rejection at every corner
I'm only twenty-two
At a younger age I thought I was a fighter
Duct tape over my mouth
Dictatorship was how my mom ran her house
Going to church every Sunday
The Lord Jesus Christ will deliver you just pray and read your Bible.
I guess I didn't read or pray enough
Angry ass kid
Lashing out
Word wise
But all I got was beat down.
Kept my head in my books, never lifted it up, I thought that was my hook.
College was my dream
Never made it.
What I am writing,
sympathy is not what I'm searching for.
I don't need it.
Just needed a little black and white without color in between
Do you get it writing is my reason
I'm broken
I need someone to pick me up,
rebuild me,
piece by piece.

By:Angel René