she doesn't love me || kjd

n

i feel a grin creeping into my face as i unlock the door to our apartment.

"hey, i'm home."
i keep the pink and red carnations hidden behind my back.

i hear her voice resonate from the kitchen.

"haha, yeah..."
she's on the phone.
"n-no, he just... gets a little... rough sometimes."
not wanting to interrupt, i found myself eavesdropping.
"it's fine okay? everything's fine. he's back now anyway, talk to you later."

"hey, who was that on the phone? did i interrupt something?"

"huh? no, it's fine. it's just my tiger mom checking in on me. as usual."

i send her a reassuring smile. even though she's 21, her parents like to keep tabs on their golden child. she's grown used to it, but she'll complain about how she's constantly undermined - says it's because she's an only child. but i think it's nice. it's their way of showing they care. my family probably don't even know - or care - where i am or what i'm doing.
"what did she say to you this time?"

"don't really wanna talk about it."
she mumbles. i figured it must've been something pretty harsh.

"seyeon..."

"oh by the way..."
i rest my forehead on hers and my eyes search hers.

i plant a hasty kiss onto her lips before presenting the flowers to her.
"i got you these!"

"oh... that's sweet... you really didn't have to."

that wasn't the reaction i wanted.

"did i do something wrong?"
i ask dejectedly, following her into the living room like a lost puppy.

"no, it's just... you're a little late home
that's all."
she picks up a vase to put the carnations in.

"hmm?"

"you've been going out to drink a lot lately, i'm just worried."

"oh baby, i'm sorry..."

she dismisses my apology instantly. she carefully places the vase down and turns to face me.
"and... you know, you didn't have to go to all the trouble to buy flowers either, the money could be spent on--"

"if ---"
i start. but she cuts me off.

"just let me finish! you always find something to argue about because you never let me finish. you never listen to me."

she's always making me out to be the criminal. i keep silent.

"i'm just saying, you don't have to do all these unnecessary things."

"but i'd do anything for you - so it's like whatever, right?"

"that's why i said unnecessary. also, you don't have to pick me up from work all the time - i don't mind walking..."

"and i don't mind picking you up."

"but it's inconvenient for you!"

she's just trying to distance herself from me.

"but it's dark out."

"so? "

"it's dangerous. there's--"

"i know that. i'm not a little kid."

i don't want to pick a fight with her.

"i just want to protect you."
i breathe out, leaning back against the wall. and she doesn't argue back.
"don't be late when i pick you up next time, okay?"

"okay."

despite the bitter taste left in my mouth and the knot in my stomach after our dispute, i thought i could finally relax.

but i was still on edge.

something glinting in the moonlight shining on our little apartment and her necklace caught my eye.

"hey, baby..."
in two swift strides, i close the distance between us.
"why are you wearing that?"

she looks confused and i lightly tug on her necklace.
"why're you wearing it?"

"what's wrong with it?"
she gently takes my hand off of it.

"didn't sehun give that to you?"

"i don't remember?"
she murmurs.
but i know she remembers.

"take it off." i spat.

"it's just a necklace..."

i raise my voice.
"then why're you wearing it?"

and before i know it, i'm shouting.
"why are you always wearing it?"

"stop yelling at me!"
she shrieks and my volume drops to a whisper.

"just take it off."

"huh?"

"i said take it off. it looks ugly on you."

i pull on it and it snaps.
not quite with military precision, but it snaps nicely into several pieces.