Aries: "Stand up Gabe, I'm setting your desk on fire."
Taurus: "I don't care who's condom it is, put it away."
Gemini: "Whoever wrote mitochondria as the most important thing you learned in science raise your hand I know there's more then one."
Cancer: "No don't ask Jesus for help on your quiz if you didn't study, not even Jesus can help you now."
Leo: "Would anyone like to donate clothing to put on our class skeleton, it makes me uncomfortable he gets to be naked in this class but I can't."
Virgo: "No I'm not grading your tests I'm trying to sell my world of Warcraft account. That's what happens when you have kids."
Libra: "Don't marry anyone named Mia. Most likely she's only marrying you for a visa trust me."
Scorpio: "Oh really does it say your a loser on your birth certificate too?"
Sagittarius: "I may have accidentally sent a very personal email to one of your parents that was suppose to go to my mom."
Capricorn: "Which one of you hell beasts stole my almond chocolate off my desk?"
Aquarius: "No Gabe, Bill Nye the science guy isn't a documentary."
Pisces: "Do I look like I would keep dead rats in a jar?- Don't answer that."
(I cannot not be a joke, ok, srry)
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Zodiacs
PoetryEverything about your sign. Probably it's true or probably just white tumblr girl trash ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Comment if (at least ONE) your sign was accurate || The Queen of Shitpost approves this || || I swear it's not gonna be THAT shitty ||
