Come Back To Me

Bad Boy

Sleep didn't come like I had hoped it would. My thoughts kept me up all night long, and they were only about Larry. What if he runs to Bono? What if he runs to Adam? What if he runs to both of them... And they take him in? No, that could never happen. I only got about an hour or two of sleep in between these thoughts.

After taking a shower, I feel a bit clearer and more awake. Then I realize that I am not looking forward to seeing Larry today, I don't want to see that look on his face that he had last night. I don't think I could take it, then I'd give into him and make it easy, too easy. He'd think I have no self-control anymore and that is one thing that will never happen. Thinking back, I remember the night that he told me we had to stop.

Standing on the balcony outside my hotel room, I hear my door open and I don't have to turn around to know who it is; to know it's him. A smirk appears across my face as he comes out next to me, but I look up and he has the saddest look in his eyes, the saddest look all over his face. He looks as if he's just gotten his heart broken by his first lover. "Are you okay?" I place a hand on his shoulder and he shakes his head, sighing and looking away from me.

"Dave... I have to tell you something." And that's when I knew something was wrong between us. He only called me by my name in front of people, rarely even then, he would lightly brush me with his hand, or bat his eyelashes at me, and biting his lip was one of his favourite ways in getting my attention.

I swallowed hard and dropped my hand from his shoulder, "Go on." In all truth, I didn't want him to go on. I shouldn't have asked that question.

"This... WE have to stop this." He looked at me again after that, his face hard and showing no emotion, he didn't want me to know how hurt he was. He had just let me in, REALLY let me in and now he was kicking me out. I felt Like I had been punched in the gut and I had no idea what to do or say. So, I just nodded and cleared my throat but I still sounded hurt.

"Alright. You can leave now." That's when he winced and let his hard look fall for me to see that this wasn't how he wanted it to be, it's how it had to be. Because of our families, because of the band, because of our lives. It's the hardest thing for me to take into my heart. I loved him with my heart and I would've done anything for him.

"Oh." Then he left. He fucking left and I sat out on that balcony and cried before going inside and drinking until I threw up.

I sigh as I finish getting dressed and get ready to face today, then I grab my room key and slip it into my pocket before slipping out the door. While waiting for the elevator to open, I see Bono walking down the hall to the elevator also, as it opens, we both get in and he looks at me, dead in the eyes and says, "You look like shit, mate."

The corner of my mouth turn upward a little as I let out a small chuckle that made Bono smile and I felt good for it, "Long night, too much thinking, no coffee." I figure that's a good enough answer for now at least but you just never know with Bono. He shrugs and puts an arm around my shoulders, kissing my cheek then resting his head on my shoulder. It's nice and normal, nothing that fazes me anymore. But then the elevator door is opening and he lets go of me as we step out, both walking to the dining room to get breakfast where the rest of the crew is. That's when I spot Larry, he was staring at me until I looked at him, then he turned his attention back to Adam, putting a hand on his thigh and laughing at something Adam said.

I feel the jealousy rise in me and figure it's probably time for some coffee. While getting some coffee I snatch a muffin and see that Bono has taken a seat next to Adam and Larry. Don't want to go over there, but, I have to. Walking over and sitting next to Bono gives me a seat right across from Larry. I internally groan, thinking, "Grrreeeeaaaatttt."