Stay With Me (Billdip One-shot)

Stay With Me

Ces: Ladies and gentlemen, I present you: "Stay With Me". Be careful for spoilers like, DIPPER'S REAL NAME (according to Journal 3). Thank you.

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They say that "love is blind", that "love can bring you eternal happiness". I used to believe those things, those sayings. Hoping that one day, I'll be someone's reason to breath. To live.

I have been alone for most of my life. My parents didn't cared about me, I never saw their faces and left me in an orphanage. I doubt I have siblings. Even if I do, I doubt they love me at all. Friends? I never understood the meaning of friendship. I was always the bothersome brat eversince.

But, it kills me everytime I opened that door, once in a week, the usual air, the usual scent, the usual.

The beeping sounds of the machine, the hypnotizing white egg wallpaper, the scent of antibiotics and air freshner hanging near the air condition. Especially that bed, oh, I haven't felt such sickening feeling inside me.

Of course, who wouldn't get sick of it, correct? Everyone will. Even the idiots cannot withstand this sickening feeling once you entered such room. But not him, not him.

Eversince he went inside this room and stayed for a week, he never left and I feel so bothered and why? Why? Why? I never understood until I found out about his condition.

He embraced all of it. To the extent, saying, "this is my home now." No. This isn't your home! Your home is at that street with your loving and caring family around you!

How can he say that? Will he really going to give up his life after all? After all the times of him scolding me, lecturing me for saying such things. Is he really going to let be consumed by this horrible environment?

I cannot allow it.

When I asked him that, he smiled softly with those eyes carrying such huge strenght and shining by his own glitters.

"I love you, Bill."

I couldn't control it. The anger, the depression, the loneliness, the deadly and poisonous words he'll say for his last breath. I can't scream, I can't yell, I have no words to strike him back not like always. It was killing me bit by bit and here I am, dying more faster than him.

Every night I cry for him. Every day I pray for him. He needed it more than anybody else. He needed it more than me after all.

I covered my faced with both of my hands, my shoulders shaking.

"How..? Will you really leave me afterall?" I asked, between sobs.

He was hesitant when he looked at me, not sure if he's afraid or more so, terrified of his thoughts. But his smile never fades. Doesn't it bother him that his cheeks may tear apart?

"I have to," he paused, "but I don't want to."

That might be the most sweetest yet poisonous thing he'll ever say to me. It wasn't like me to cry like this. It wasn't like him to wear that hospital dress and have those transparents wire things stuck in his wrists.

Everything inside this room is not for him.

The him I know is akward, curious, adventurous, considerate, shy, persistive, smart and beautiful. His personality is unique in my taste, the mix of danger and safety.

I remembered every time how he saved me from bad things and thoughts.

By remembering it, I felt more shaken. I shakingly held his hand, praying over and over that he won't leave. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever.