Before the powerful release of the band's last and most raw album, they went through many demos, and there was many B-sides that weren't put in the album. In Utero took over a year to make due to changes in producers and excessive audio issues. But, the demos and B-sides are worth recognizing.
The first Demos were recorded in 1992, these are not as big considering they are mostly instrumentals, the only one not being instrumental is the demo of Rape me.
*Rape me
*Dumb (Instrumental)
*Jam AKA "Forgotten Tune"
*Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle (Instrumental)
*Tourette's (Instrumental)
*Radio Friendly Unit Shifter (Instrumental)
Considering the Lyrics to Rape me are almost Identical to the studio version, not much can be said here. Rape me will be further discussed with other songs that will be analyzed on the page that discusses In Utero's songs.
Other Demos include:
Pachyderm Demos:
*Heart Shaped Box (Instrumental)
*Moist Vagina (Alt Take)
*Pennyroyal tea (Acoustic)
*Pennyroyal tea (Alt Take)
*Sappy (Alt Take)
*Tourette's (Alt Mix)
Rio Demos:
*Heart Shaped Box (Demo)
*Milk it (Demo)
*Moist Vagina (Demo)
*I Hate Myself and Want to Die (Demo)
*"Meat"
*Seasons in the Sun
*Gallons of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through a Strip (Alt Mix)
*Scentless Apprentice (Alt Mix)
Some of these Demos stick out from the rest with their lyrics and tone.
*Disclaimer: Lyrics are not 100% Confirmed to be correct*
I Hate Myself and Want to Die (Demo)
Lyrics:
"Ready?"
Even if you own a wife
Even if you like in my state
I could never want a bribe
I've been there no matter what that
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe ...
Even if you wanted light
I could never matter to play
Even if you want a life
Even if I like it, you're sad
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
Even if you own a wife
Even if you wanted one thing
I could never want a life
I could never only one day
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
In the someday, what's that sound?
In the sun bathe, what's that sound?
Although Kurt said this song was mainly Gibberish and the title is sarcastic, the lyrics in the demo are pretty bold and blunt, but, can be easily misunderstood. In the verses, it states "Even if you own a wife" This might be stating how Kurt sees the media perceive him. How even if he is married, the media is still going to perceive him as an depressed, troubled individual. It also may be stating this in the lyric "Even if you want light." "Even if you like it, you're sad" may be referring to Kurt faking his happiness in being a musician. In the chorus, "In the sun bathe, what's that sound?" Likely is referring to the media draining Kurt of his musician ambitions, and being too ignorant to realize it.
Moist Vagina (Demo)
Lyrics:
She has a moist vagina
She has a moist vagina
She wants a moist vagina
When I want my own shyness
She has a moist vagina
When I don't like what fights out
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
What wanna
Main difference here is Kurt suggests wanting to be different, wanting to be not like everyone else.
Milk it (Demo)
Lyrics:
She set up for this Monday
I never now I got
I did all of my friends
This mother and her daughter
She said (x2)
Hey my own will beat water
My liars will be the milk man
My mother will be your, hey
My letter's gone insane
She said I'm not just like her
She said I'm like her son
I drink more milk than he does
I'm a deal and I want my mom
She said (x2)
Big mothers mill be able
My letters will you sell
My mother is my father
But no one is alone
She said (x2)
My lover is your mother
I wish I should drink more milk
He lies when I'm here in my bedroom
I like him better than
I never helped you riddle
I never take a bath
He always puts the chocolate
On my pillow before I go to bed
Several references to a Mother and milk. Likely about Kurt wanting a mother figure in his life. Besides that, this version is more gibberish and lyrics that are hard to make out the meaning.
There is more demos that can be discussed, but, they mainly consist of the same meanings. They are mainly more blunt versions of the studio version and discuss Kurt's struggle with how media perceives him, his crave to crawl away from everyone and stay away from media, and most overlooked meaning: Wanting a motherly/woman figure in his life to take care of him and his struggle with his mother. Conclusion, these demos resemble Kurt's first time directly saying how he feels and really showing his struggles and depression, but, at the same time indirectly. Considering these are demos, he knew he would be able to be more blunt, he was practicing making lyrics that were practically a middle finger towards media. But, in the studio version he's less direct, because he is terrified, many songs were taken out or changed by the time of the Studio version in fear of backlash and misunderstanding. Kurt wanted to be direct about his issues, but, at the same time was scared.
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Kurt Cobain: The Last Months
Non-FictionA full documentation of the months leading up to the unfortunate death of Kurt Cobain. This book goes into detail on the last days of the famous musician, Kurt Cobain, and deeply analyzes each of his actions and events on his last months.
