Defiance | Book 1 [EXTENDED]

CHAPTER 57

Finally at base. I walked in through the door, greeted by worried faces. "What the hell, Alex!" Demi says getting up,

"What?" I say confused,

"Where were you? You were gone for hours," Logan puts in,

I look around, "Where's Max?"

"He went looking for you," Demi says rolling her eyes,

"I'm going to go get him," I say turning to leave, before Demi grabbed my arm pulling me back,

"It's night, it's too dangerous. I'll go"

Just at that moment, Max limped in, "I couldn't find h-" he began before seeing me. He stopped and just said nothing, looking at me blankly. He hugged me, which was a surprising gesture. I glanced at Demi, who turned around and walked off. He finally let go, "Alex, I thought-"

I looked down at his leg and saw him bleeding, "You're bleeding"

"Yeah, I tripped over a shard of window glass and it caught me"

"I'll get it cleaned up," I say, pulling his arm over my shoulder for support and helping him up the stairs.

"Alex, what about..." Will started. I knew what he meant, Connor and Simon,

"Not now" I whisper back.

I sat Max on his bed and pulled out the first aid from the closet. I lifted his pant leg, revealing the wound with a piece of glass sticking out of it, "Okay, this might hurt" I say, tying an old cloth tight above the wound to slow the blood circulation. I then grabbed the spirits and sanitised my hands before disinfecting the wound. He winced, and let out a groan. I pulled out the tweezers and slowly pulled out the glass, quickly applying pressure with the cotton to stop the blood. He took a deep breath as I pressed hard and wrapped gauze around it. I didn't know what I was doing, I just got this from 'Doctors', a show my dad used to watch,

"What happened to your head?" Max asked, sitting up,

"Oh, I..." I stopped and thought. Should I tell him? Should I tell him we got captured and warned? Not yet.

"I hit myself with my gun accidentally"

"You're a bad liar"

"I'm serious"

"Sure"

"You should rest, give your leg a chance to heal"

"Alright, Doctor," he laughed. His laugh always made me feel calmer, made me feel...normal. I turned to leave, "Alex?" he called back,

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay with me?"

I looked at the door and then back at him, "Sure"

I sat next to him, our backs against the wall, "Do you love her?" I say quietly, not turning to face him. It just came out, it was a question I had burning inside of me for so long,

He didn't answer. Instead he just took a deep breath and finally whispered, "Define 'love'"

"I mean, do you care about her? Do you stay up at night, thinking about her, dreaming about her?"

"Demi? No"

I sighed quietly in relief.

"Not Demi"

If not Demi then who?

Oh.

"Do you love him?"

I looked at him, "yes"

He hung his head and then looked out the window, "But do you really love him?"

My mind was blank. I loved Will, but one thing I never dug into, was the fact that I would always think about Max. How he made me feel, how he smiled, how he worried about me. I finally caught me words, "I do" I choked dryly. I didn't want him to think I still loved him, even though I did.

"Well, I guess when you're in the middle of a war, you need someone safe"

"Will?"

"Face it, the only reason you're attached to him is because you had history and he's 'safe'. You think he would never break your heart"

He was right, but I didn't want to believe it.

"But, you and I...are... completely dangerous and risky. He's simple and you're going to end up married, having two kids, living in a neighbourhood full of happy people, eventually you'll grow old together and then you'll realise, you haven't lived. No adventure, no fights, your relationship will be baby-proofed. You'll be like the Brady Bunch. Happy and clueless," he continued,

"Not true"

"Oh, so true. You and Will, don't make sense. I know you Alex"

"Will makes me feel human. He's kind, and he's funny and he's-"

"-safe"

I looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, our eyes met. I missed him. I had to resist the strong urges I had for him. All this time I was blinded by someone who I had known for a few days and was so lost in in the past I forgot the person I loved more. Max.

"What about Demi? She's not safe. She's a total badass. You and her are perfect"

"I don't want perfect, I want..." But he stopped, and looked away,

Oh no. I couldn't stop it. He turned to face me once more and I just went for it. I kissed him, but pulled away quickly, realising my mistake,

"...you" he said, kind of shocked,

I got up, "I'm sorry, I have to go-"

"Stay"

"Max, I can't"

"Can't what?"

"Do this"