something in us will always know | camren oneshots

all roads since you are wrong directions (i'll never get home)

(all quotes by richard siken, from his masterpiece "crush")

1.
The first time Camila tries to kiss someone, she knows she should stop. She is fully aware that this is a really bad idea.

Even as she leans in and reaches up to cup Lauren's face, she knows she should not be doing this.

The soft bumping of their noses tells Camila its too late now. Lauren's breath hitches on Camila's bottom lip and Camila's heart pounds in her ears, because holy fucking shit she is so close to Lauren's mouth.

One last gulp and Camila, after mentally sighing, oh for fuck's sake, just do it, you've come this far, tilts her head and presses her mouth to Lauren's lips. Then immediately jerks back like she's been electrocuted.

Camila feels it before she hears it. She doesn't like girls. "I don't like girls." Lauren says.

Her eyes are still so close and all Camila can think of is that poem by Richard Siken: dried leaves on the surface of a pool, you could drown in those eyes, green eyes flecked with yellow.

Camila's heart slams on the brake.

"Okay." Camila says.

Lauren dry swallows, stepping away, reaching out to tap Camila on the shoulder. "Okay." She says.

(The screeching of tires in Camila's ears nearly drowns her voice out completely.)

(The next day when Lauren cries after saying goodbye to Keaton and kisses him with the same mouth Camila kissed, hands in his hair, Camila can't feel anything but the lurching of her stomach as everything inside her halts to a stop.)

2.
The second time Camila tries to kiss someone, she's successful. It's still not a good idea but it's an idea that works, and really, that's all Camila needs.

Maybe it's the fact that Austin Mahone would love the chance to kiss any girl that makes it work, but hey, Camila wants to believe that he is actually a pretty nice guy.

He does compliment the pink skirt Normani helped pick out for their date (is it a date? Camila can't tell) and he's already smiled at her, like, two dozen times since he picked her up for lunch at Subway.

So Camila kisses him at the door of the tour bus when he drops her back off and he tastes like spicy Italian sandwich and boy.

Which, honestly, isn't all that favorable. And okay, she does prefer the quick fluttery feeling of Lauren's lips, but whatever.

He kisses her back and calls her beautiful before waving goodbye and walking away with a grin on his face. And that, in Camila's book, is a job well done.

She's climbing inside the bus (with steady knees and a numb heart because she's like 86% sure at this point in her life that she doesn't like boys in that way) when Lauren comes sweeping out of the bathroom and stops in her tracks when she sees Camila.

And. Yikes.

"Hi?" Camila says, voice totally not cracking, looking at Lauren but not really looking, because she's pretty sure her bra strap is slipping and her pink lipstick is smudged and she suddenly feels the sticky feeling of shame all over her body.

"Hey." Lauren says, quiet, still. Her hands hang casually by her side, and Camila totally does not imagine them having been on her hips instead of Austin's. "How was lunch?"

Lunch. Not date.

Okay.

"Okay." Comes Camila's voice, strained and awkward.