I Will

I will 

Chapter One: So You're the one I've waited on the one I've been dreaming of 

He has always been there, my constant since my first time I laid my eyes on him I knew that I loved him. Charles Brandon, the Kings most trusted and valuable advisor, the Duke of Suffolk the man who many men wanted to be was his name. While I, Catherine Willoughby, his ward would not be looked at with any type of love by any man but especially not by him. When he looked at me he saw me being a burden to him thrusted upon him by our sovereign lord Henry VIII. Told that he had to take me into his household because of the death of my father and myself not being old enough for marriage just then, I am not after three years in the household. And if I was honest it was where I felt I belonged. I knew though I did not, I could not. I knew I would either be put into the care of Suffolk or Knyvett as both had been wardship by the King in 1509 which meant any wealthy orphans went to either of the two. The Duke, Charles, as welcoming as he was had his family, he had his wife. The dowager Queen of France, my heart panged when he had someone like her why would he look at someone, who was a foolish girl in comparison, a girl who could never give anything he would want but I hoped it would be what he wished for.  I was a lady of course on means when I was allowed my inheritance but compared to the statute of having the sister to the King as your wife I was nothing.

It was nearly Yuletide and we were all to be going to court to spend festivities with the King, With Charles’ wife and his family, his son Henry and his daughters Frances and Eleanor, from his marriage to Mary with Anne and Mary from his first marriage to Anne Browne were also to be in attendance. I should have been happy, but I could not bring my heart to be as glad as it usually was when this happened.  I could not describe it but every time I was near him my heart would race a little, he would sometimes let his fingers brush against my skin which would send shock and a jolt to the pit of my stomach and stir such feelings that I still do not understand.  I often find myself feeling a horrible emotion that myself as a Christian woman should not feel, whenever I see the Duke, Charles, kiss his lady wife I want to be in her shoes I want to know why could that not be me. I am breaking one of the commandments to so with this it is not right for me to do so. How was I going to be able to spend a month at court with them both there and not feel that I should be in her place? I should be the duchess of Suffolk I would love that man so much more than she ever could.  Catherine, I chastised myself stop thinking such wicked thoughts Mary had been nothing but gracious since I entered her household and both of them had offered me the education of a lady of my statue should have. I suspected a little more because of Charles to why I had the education that I did, he believed all women should be properly educated which meant that I like his daughters could often be found in the school room doing the same lessons as his son Henry would do. I had seen him creeping in a few times, although I did not lose concentration from my lessons I was aware he was there. I could not describe it was as if there is a something like a pull deep within my soul that I feel whenever he is near.

‘Catherine’ I closed my eyes, I knew that voice it was a voice that haunted my dreams every night when I closed my eyes. The soft tones that I knew could become tinged with anger if someone would push him. I had heard him really shout; all the time I had known him, only once to George Boleyn who was the most pompous man, I had ever met. I was meant to be in my rooms at court asleep, but not for the first time I had awoken from a dream. I had wrapped my gown around me and began to walk the corridors. We were there because of the order of the garter ceremony something that Charles of course, had an important role in. He was to be the person to vote them in. He had not however, voted for Boleyn and George Boleyn was not happy. I heard for the first time that night the passion and determination as he defended his stance. I knew that this man had a burning desire about the sense of what is right and wrong something that anyone who would meet him would know as he was one of the constants at court.