A day in the life of Tobi

Today I woke to find Deidara's hands licking my forehead again for the fifth time in a row. I guess I should stop playing with his explosive clay.

Deidara started yelling at me yesterday yelling,"If you ever touch that again I'll make sure you dont live the next time I make more." So, of course, I make a snowman and put it in Itachi's bed. Did you know that Itachi and Deidara like to scream a lot?

Most of the time when I say hi to them, they yell, "Would you get out Tobi! Your already ruining my day!" Eventhough they yell at me I'm still glad they havent kicked me out yet. I don't know what i would do if that happened.
One time I found Deidara sitting in praying position and I asked,"Are you praying?" He said,"No I'm making out!" That's when started till freak out, and ran out yelling for Sasori. He's not the only one that scares me, when I went to Sasori he was making puppets murmuring to himself,"Should I make Grandma or grandpa?"
I left silently and found Kasami watching a fish bowl and saying dirty things.
I found Zetzue talking to himself saying,"Your just jealous cause I'm black and you aren't!" "Yeah well at least I can make friends!" "Hey that hurt man!"
I leave to ask Konan if she had any candy ,and she made a horde of cranes chase me and give me numerous papercuts.
I borrowed a little (a lot) of Kakazu's money to by a 50ft swimming pool to fit all of my friends in. Good thing he hasn't found out yet, "Oh hi Kakazu, I was just telling them how I borrowed a little (a lot) of your money to buy a 50ft swimming pool for a party." That's when Kakazu started to turn black, so I ran to Pein.
Instead of helping me he made me go through 4 levels of pain, after those 4 he told me if i didn't leave him alone I'd regret it.
I left hurriedly and ran into Orochimaru."What are you doing Orochimaru?" I asked, pushing a snake away from my neck. I blacked out and wake up to Kabuto holding a scapel and saying,"Don't worry it will only hurt a lot."
I scream and and yell for help when Deidara came into the room, punched Kabuto knocking him out, then said,"I told you to pay me back man!" He dug in his pockets and pulled out 50 cents, then skipped away saying something about somebody name Ken.
I manage to get out of it and take the scapel away from Kabuto, saying "It's dangerous to play with sharp and pointy objects."
After that I ran into Kimimaru who was staring at the ground. After twisting my bones into different angles, I managed to hop away on to fingers."Hey, what happened to the lights?" I asked and lift my hand to uncover my head. It felt like a bag. Then I feel something digging into my side.
I woke with a start to see Orochimaru and Kabuto standing above me with the scapel. I took it away from him an cut myself free. Sasuke came into the room and asked if he was done being a pedaphite when Kabuto yelled at him to watch his mouth. I yell that this game isn't fun anymore and Sasuke said,"This is boring," and left.
I heard an explosion and ran into the kitchen. Deidara had blown up the microwave. Just then, Konan came in holding her hairdryer I played with in the bathtub yesterday.
Then Itachi came in yelling at me for blowing up his bed, Kakazu yelled at me for braking everything, and Heidan kept saying sacrifice. Sasori yelled at me asking why his puppets were filled with candy, Kasami yelled at me for not feeding his wif- I mean goldfish.

As I went to bed that night I thought about all the pain i was in. But I thought to myself that it was worth it, because thats how my friends are and always will be. Destructive and dangerous, but thats why I became a S-rank criminal... to get the crap beat out of me... And candy speaking of, I should probably go get that explosive clay I put on everybodies toothbrushes... Oh well...BOOM!!...TOBI!!!! Oops!