Dear Diary

Entry 1

Dear Diary,

                I am a boy. I have breasts, but I am a boy. I have a- girly part.. BUT I AM A BOY. I just.. I just don't know how to tell anyone. Since I am barely 14 should I keep it all in for a few years? I don't really know what to do. Will my family accept me? What about Ansleigh, my best friend in the whole world. Everyone else may think this is 'just a phase', but I know I am right.

           I realized in second grade I didn't really go well with the whole 'girl' thing- except makeup, even if I were born a boy I'd still wear makeup. I was a really early bloomer and I hit puberty at age 9. By grade 6 I had DD and it was grade 5 when I got *shudders* periods. I hated being looked at like I was a girl. I hate it now when guys stare at my chest and bum, saying "Dang GIRL, you look good!"  That doesn't happen all the time but a little more than ever-now-and-then. When it does I feel like hiding under covers with a sign that says  'Leave him the fudge alone!"

         I don't know how to tell anyone. I have gotten some advice from a few people. Thanks ( MisterAwesomePanda  ) Damon, your the best! Anywhore, I don't on a binder so at this moment I am wearing two spots bras and a tight tank-top. My DDs are now I am guessing.. a B? I don't know. I am scared to ask my mum to buy me one so I am debating on coming out to my 20 year old sister, Daisey and asking for one as a birthday present.

         She has wattpad also so I will not be tagging her in this. Don't worry though neither of us are following the other so she shouldn't see this.. hopefully no yet. Eventually I may tag her in this but I think the best option is to tell her face-to-face. Anyway, I think that's all, but I feel like writing so I am just going to rant.

         Does anyone else hate Sofia the First? Like seriously. My- I wont even call her my sister, due to her being a.. female doggie and whiner. She and Daisey are my step sisters along with Janisty who is also on here...and following me! >.< (I'll get her phone and unfollow me later) Sade- the female doggie- loves Sofia the First and watches it way too much for her age, which is 12 btw.

             I love My Little Pony (Don't judge me it's a guilty pleasure, I promise.) , but I don't whine to my mum about TV time, get the remote, and watch it everyday. Yes we have TV time. First my brother watches Stuck in the Middle for a while, then I watch Supernatural, after that mum watches Jerry Springer and Steve Wilkos. Janisty is usually with her boyfriend Dante in our room. I will rant about him in the next paragraph(s?).

       Dante acted like a gentlemen, I guess you could say, when he first started to come around. I thought he was too, he'd take Janisty and I to the movies, me being her 3rd wheel that made sure hey didn't get into trouble, and to Wal-Mart to buy candy and sneak in the movie theater. He had also taken s to Taco-bell a few times. I would get the taco salad without meat. I am a vegan! Yay me.

          He started being an arse a few weeks after he started coming over. Now he comes over everyday. Since I am basically nocturnal he likes to tick me off by waking me up around 9:00 after I had just fallen asleep like a few hours before. He also likes to bug me by trying to set me up with people he knows.. then question my sexuality. I like boys. When I become, physically I mean, a boy I will- shocker!- like boys.-_- So screw you Dante! COMMENT THAT BELOW and I will show him the comments only. That'd be hilarious. 

           And when I start my transition from FtM, after coming out, I will still be wearing makeup just not everything girls wear- like the Youtuber Endigo. Sometimes he wears more than I will but I need someone to give you an example of. If you don't know who that sexy beast is I suggest you look him up on YouTube: Endigo and/or Google: Endigo Skyborn. He has the cutest accent. I love me some Swedish guys.<3

       Anywhore, ^.^ who wants to hear about my Warped Tour '16 experience? *Pauses for answer* Yay! If you don't you wouldn't still be reading. Okay so I went to Warped 6/30/16, went with two of my friends Kaylee and Maddie and Kaylee's dad. I got to see a lot of my favorite bands like Set It Off, Motionless in White (I have a story about MIW), Falling In Reverse, and a few others I can't remember right now. I was 'moshing', as you could say, to FIR and I don't know how it happened, but someone kicked a rock down my throat. Not a huge one just a small pebble. Only recently did my throat stop hurting from it.

       After that Kaylee, Maddie, and I met up with her dad at the Monster... it wasn't a tent but I don't know what to call it... trailer maybe and we all got a Monster. Me being a stupid-arse rebel I got two then poured a third into a water bottle and took it around with me breaking the rule stating: 'NO MONSTER ALLOWED OUTSIDE THE MONSTER AREA'. I eventually had to go to the bathroom and throw up getting a few 'are you okay?s'  from some very nice girls.

        Then after all that (this is my MIW story) Kaylee, Maddie, and I sat in line for a few hours to meet Motionless In White. Finally it was our turn and I had walked up to Josh first and asked him to sign my face. Surprisingly he said 'Okay' but he then added 'Just wipe it off first'. I looked at Maddie and she grabbed my beanie and vigorously wiped it across my face, earning a few laughs from the rest of the band. He wrote 'Balz'  on my upper cheekbone. I fanboyed so bad, no not the 'OMG OMG' jumping up and down hyperventilating , Oh no sweetheart.. this idiot *points to self*  walks away from the rest of the band, with a blank mind and only gets one signature. So yeah screw me! >.< 

        BTW if you want to see the picture of Balz on my face you can go to Josh's Twitter because he retweeted it from Kaylee. That time we really did fanboy- well fangirl and fanboy- hyperventilate. That was on the way home.  We also went to the 'Stay Happy Stay Weird' tent and got a few pictures from Kyle David Hall aka Kyle David Balls. I am sorry if this Warped adventure is out of order I am just writing them down as I remember them. Okay... Kaylee saw this really cute guy and said "I would really love t fall and him catch me" so I did the 'me' way o doing things and I gave her a shove in his direction. She fell onto him and they had a cute moment.<3 Needless to say she gave me a dirty look, but I know she was glad I did ~.~.

       OH OH I can't forget! We all went for the water stand and there was this man selling water bottles. We bought a few then walked into the opposite direction, coming upon another water stand within a minute. The SAME guy was there selling water just normally as normal can be. Long story short he has a twin.. he was not a ninja. XD We were all punked and it wasn't intentional.

I think that's all for now but I will be uploading sometime later. Maybe even today. So bye guys!!! Love you<3