The ocean of darkness embracing my empty heart
A room filled of jems I don't deserve a part
I looked up to the gray filled sky
Never thought I could reach that high
The crystals falling till forever
Lights flashing such that of thunder
Sound of birds chirping tingles in my ears
How could not anyone hear after all these years
Even the bright lights
So as the blinding lights
Even the sound of waves
So as serenity of cave's
Go together with each other
Inseparable forever
Depressed. Sad. Unable to smile.
No.
It is not just as simple as being sad.
Sad doesn't qualify depression.
Depression is a lot of things.
Some days are fine but most days are not.
You think you are fine but then you realize you are not.
You spend time with people, smile and laugh with friends and forget you are depressed and you think maybe that was it. Maybe spending time with someone can cure your depression.
No.
It doesn't.
When you spend time with people you realized how sadder you can be. You see them live life the way they just do and you compare it to yours.
Which you find just different.
Different from them. Something they could not understand. Something that no one could understand.
You try to seek help. You try to talk to someone.
That someone is there for you. You know it. You feel it but somehow words they say doesn't help at all.
They try to lift you up and make you believe in yourself.
You say to yourself that they are right.
They are helping.
But it seems that somehow they're still not.
It is hard to wake up.
It is like taking another exam.
Same exam.
Repeatedly taken over and over again.
But still.
You fail.
It makes you tired.
Tired of everything.
Tired of doing things.
Tired of life itself.
Some nights you just try do do something and end up just crying.
Some days you just stare blanky on a surface letting that lost moment embrace you wishing it could just take you with it.
Wishing you could just disappear.
You try to help yourself.
God knows how hard you try to help yourself.
To get back up.
To start over again.
Still.
It seems like everything becomes nothing.
Everything you do just becomes a plain daily routine.
No purpose.
No sense.
Worthless.
Just like how you see yourself.
You get mad.
At yourself.
For not being able to get out of it.
For not being able to be just like anyone else.
You feel empty.
You feel lost. Lost within yourself.
You feel nothing.
