AUTHOR'S NOTE:
This is my first, and I admit that it's not perfect but I still want to know what you guys think about the story...
For those who are reading it, will read it and already read it.. thank you :)
Comments are greatly appreciated, it would be great if you'll point out the good and bad side of how the way I write and of the story itself.
I'm sure that your critique will help me improve my writings/stories..
(Since this story is originally a one paged short story by 'Parts'--and not an actual book--I purposely ended each 'Chapters' with an actual ending, and didn't kept the readers hanging with the story.)
Thank you everyone :D
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LOST LOVE
Copyright © 2011 Jonas Rosales Sario
All Rights Reserved
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LOST LOVE
It happened back when I was seventeen...
We were new around the neighborhood and I'm not very familiar with the streets but I still walked around looking for some place peaceful.
I saw a river bank, the water flowed so smoothly along the curves of the river. I sat on a trunk of a tree facing the beautiful and peaceful scenery of the river. I slowly closed my eyes as they start to feel heavy. It was mid-afternoon that time, it wasn't that hot and I could feel the cool breeze of autumn. It felt so magical, peaceful and silent.
"Who are? What are you doing here?!" a loud voice of a guy rang onto my ears.
I immediately opened my eyes to see who was the dumb, selfish jerk that interrupted my peace of mind.
A guy wearing a faded blue jeans and a white shirt appeared in front of me, he was holding a palette and what looks like a painter’s paper.
I was irritated, it’s not like he owns this place, and besides I was the first one to be here. I was on my feet, staring straight to him. “I’m sorry, mister. I didn’t know that some,” I paused, looking for the right word to say, “loud,...weird guy owns this place!” I shouted the words so loud I think the houses near the river heard me.
“ARE YOU MAD?!” the guy replied with all of his might to surpass my loud voice.
“NO!” I replied back.
“REALLY?!” I didn’t answered, I was on my back at him. I turned around to look at the guy because he suddenly went silent, then when I looked at his face, he was smiling, not just an ordinary smile, he was grinning. The feeling of uneasiness ran all over me, I stared at him from head to toe.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“Can’t you remember me Phoebe?” the guy asked. He was around my age, probably older than me by months. His eyes are so green they reminded me of the green healthy grass on our farm back on our home town. His black hair flew as the wind passed.
A familiar feeling entered me as an image of a boy flashed into my mind. That little boy, he’s my close friend back on our town, I remembered crying so hard when I found out that he and his family were going to a foreign county. I cried back then because I had a crush on him when we were young.
“Alex?” I’m not that certain that it was him but that smile, it reminded me of my puppy love. The guy’s grin grew even more, and then to my surprise he dropped all of the things he was holding, ran towards me and hugged me so tight I thought he was trying to kill me.
“Yes, it’s me Phoebe,” he said over my right ear, “I really missed you!” At first, I actually didn’t know what to do, but the warm feeling of a known love rose inside me. I just smiled and closed my eyes as I hugged Alex back.
“I missed you too,” I whispered.
BINABASA MO ANG
Lost Love (Completed)
Kısa HikayePhoebe and Alex known each other since they could even remember, but Alex went to a foreign country with his family and left Phoebe with an unspoken feelings. After ten years they met again. Everything was so perfect, not until Phoebe realized what...
