Just Friends? (Cethany)

Epilogue

*Connors POV*

Busy. Busy. Busy. It's all I have been for the past couple weeks. The struggle is real. Important book meetings and meetings for my merch.
And it's all running on 0 hours of sleep and 24 cups of coffee. Well obviously not exactly that, I'm just being overly dramatic.
However, today is my lucky day because I have finished all of meetings super early and now it's time for a little relaxation time. Why not head to the beach?
Sliding on my sunglasses, I leave the car - felt like some men in black shit. It feels nice to just sit on the beach with my camera and take such beautiful pictures.
As soon as I rest my head, my phone goes off.
"Time for the collab we spoke about last week!!!" From Beth Mota. Long time no see!
Well I guess my relaxation had to end but that doesn't matter.

*Bethanys POV*

I drive up to the curb and I see a small figure walking towards me, it's CONRAD!!
"Hey Connor!" I exclaim.
"Well hello Bethany!" He replies.
We had a quick hug and he invited me in.
"Ooo, very nice place Con!" I say as if I had never been here.
"Why thank you," he smiles.
I made myself at home and laid on his sofa; ignoring the memories from it.
"Okay let's get started," Connor mumbles.
Sitting up straight, I break a smile to lighten up my mood.

*Connors POV*

Finishing my video, me and Beth both breathe out and slouch on my sofa.
"This video is gonna be so great! We are very good at recreating those cute relationship pictures," I giggle.
"Yeah," Beth scoffes.
"Should we do your video after a bit so we can have a little break?" I asked.
"Sure, that seems like a better plan," she agrees.
I'm very glad that Beth is very supportive with my coming out. Like, I know we've had a past and I did love her but turns out, being straight wasn't my thing.
Grabbing a quick snack from the fridge, I offer Beth some coffee. She denies the offer. Hmm, well more coffee for me then.

*Bethanys POV*

Why do I feel like this? My stomach is upside down and I feel shaken up. And the images of me and him in this very apartment pop up in my head. I don't love him. I can't anyways, he's gay and I support that. But there is no way he can just say that he never loved me. He did. I know it.
I decided to get up and enter his bathroom - I needed to sort myself out.
I walk in and flashbacks from shower sex to singing in the mirror with him while getting ready pop back in my head. Why are these thoughts happening?!
"Beth, lets film your video now!" Connor shouts.
Argh, I need to get this over and done with.

*Connors POV*

We complete Beth's video and it was quite awkward. I mean it was never have I ever and it came to virginities, I took Beth's and she said "never." Urm, okay? Well Beth didn't take mine so I said the opposite.
I get up and notice that Beth seems anxious. I notice it since she was fiddling with her fingers like she used to do.
"Beth, do you want to talk?" I offer.
"Connor, it's fine," she denies.
"Well, I know your not okay, your fiddling with your fingers and barely talking and sitting straight up instead of relaxing. This is exactly what you used to do before performances during Dancing with the Stars," I mention.
"How do you remember that?" She looked up at me with a serious look.
"Because I used to calm you down before them," I add.

*Bethanys POV*

"Well that's the problem," I stand up, "you can remember all of the past memories without a shadow of grief holding you down. I walk into this apartment like its nothing when in reality, this was where you and moved into together when we were a couple. The room you sleep in is also the room where we slept together and that bathroom is filled with memories of us. This whole apartment is just hiding anything left of "us" behind its walls. I understand that you came out gay and you are as happy as you can ever be. And I support you through all of that as I have respect for you. But the fact that our relationship seems like nothing to you hurts me the most. I really did love you Connor and I did get over you after my accident as you were there to support me. However the images haunt me and that's something I can't control." A tear falls down my cheek as a pain in my chest begins to grow.

*Connors POV*

I'm left speechless, I never saw it like that.
"Beth..." I mutter.
We look eye to eye and hover around the silence.
"I'm sorry Connor, I shouldn't have-" I interrupted her.
"Don't apologise, you haven't done anything wrong. What you've said is understandable. I did love you Beth. And you know that but the part I'm not okay with is that I basically lured you into thinking we were going to get engaged or married or other things. I know it must've been hard especially with the fact that we had so much love in our 1 year relationship. I realise that a year sounds short but no one will understand what we went through except for us. I really did see something with you that I hadn't ever seen with anyone else, you were special. I know the grief is hard and the heartbreak may have lead to other things but I also know that those feelings never 'just go away.' I know that I still love you somewhere in me and you still love me. However I am now gay and you have supported me through all of this. You and Troye both have given me the most support. I live here remember that, so those images do appear in my head every now and then, but I try to think about where we are now instead of the past." I reply.
A sigh is released from my mouth and I mention one last thing.
"Also, before I realised my sexuality, I was prepared to propose to you. However I was going to tell you on the day we ended that it could be a promise ring instead, but time flew by and it was better off not mentioning anything."

*Bethanys POV*

My heart melts, I never knew this was what a boy can be like. I've been so damaged by something so little to realise that everything is not what it seems.
"Connor, I truly do love you." I sigh.
"And Bethany, I love you too," he smiles.
He walks closer to me and hugs me tight.
This hug is different. Instead of giving me love, it's giving me relief. All my broken pieces get squeezed back together and I can feel it happen in my chest. All of the images process through my head and I don't feel any anxiety. This was what I needed after my grief. I needed to let it out.
We release from the hug, "I'm glad to call you my best friend and to know that you were once the love of my life," Connor mentions while smiling.
"I too think the same," I whisper while grinning.

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Authors note
Well hello my active readers, long time no see. After a long time of thinking, I finally decided to add an epilogue for you guys. I know that some of you didn't want me to end the story so here's a little gift from me to you. I was going to carry on the story and have an engagement and wedding and everything but I never ended up carrying on the chapter. Also it's best just to support Connors decision.
Thank you so much for all of the support. I started this so long ago not expecting many reads but I have now hit 100k views. This book has been such a great success in my life and I'm so glad to have lovely people enjoy it. Lots of love - Naima :)