He's Gone, Forever

"Alize, I need to tell you something. Dad has cancer."

        Those words started it all. You're probably wondering if my mom was talking about my dad, no not my dad, though I think he might have it in a few years I don't know. Well my mom was talking about my grandfather Isabelo or as everyone called him "La Virne".

        In February my mom knew or suspected what was happening. My grandad never went to a doctor. He was dizzy and he had a lot of pain and couldn't go to the bathroom to do the deeds. After a lot of talking he finally agreed to go the doctor whom told him to do an MRI. That's was the day my mom knew for sure, but he didn't. Mom started taking him to the hospital for test and checkups. On April/5/07 a consultation report for Biopsy of Colon Lesion said "Positive for Adenocarnoma". He was diagnosed with Colon Cancer Stage 4 on April/25/07. So eventually, everything started on April. Trust me when I say that I hated April and all those months until July. I just couldn't believe it...

        So, let’s start. Since I was 10 years old, I could go and visit my granddad. Yeah right, talk about a Vélez and its rights. I used to try and stretch myself so I looked taller and I could go in, I know funny. But I was sad and wanted so bad to see my granddad. My mom stayed with him at the hospital, while I stayed at my dad's house. That was one of the things I hated most, trust me. I really don't remember much but I think I visited him like 2-3 days a week. My mom was driving on and on every day to the hospital for like 2 and a half months to take care of him. On weekends my aunt from Bayamón stayed at the hospital at Manati so my mom could go work at the Flea Market.

        During those two months, they tried to give him Quimios but, every time something happened and he couldn't receive it. I think that was one of the things that made him weaker, not getting the Quimios. All of this was pretty hard for me. A ten year old losing her granddad because of cancer. 

So, it's time to tell you what happened after he got out of the hospital. The last two months June and July. I'm back at my house and so is he. My mom is practically a nurse but without certificates or any of those things, but that's something I'll tell you another time. So my mom kept on taking care of him, like if she was the Mother and him her Son. I used to wake up and I automatically went to his room in my house to see if he was ok, and like all the other days my mom was there too.

        My mom says that one day, my dad had to rip my granddad’s pants ‘cause his legs were inflated. It was kind of terrifying, seeing his legs so inflated. So, he grew weaker and weaker every day. I remember that when he wanted something he started calling my mom and since sometimes she was busy I used to go to his room. “What's wrong?”, “Call your mom”, “She's busy, tell me what's wrong?” but he never used to budge it was always my mom, no one else. But I didn't care, I was always by his side, helping mom take care of him and stuff. I took it as my job. To help my mom, take care of my granddad.

July 17, 2007

        I don't know why, but I think mom is hiding something from me. As always, I do my daily routine. Get up, go to grandpa's room, get ready for school, leave, come back from school and help mom take care of grandpa. My uncle came by as usual and gave grandpa a bath. My mom talked to him for a while and he left. After that is when everything went down.

July 18, 2007

        I really don't remember what happened in the morning. All I know is that my grandpa was dying. I remember that I went to his room and mom and my neighbors were rushing back and forth with towels. Looking for more cause the other were already full of blood. I saw my mom get out of the room and I heard her gaging, like if she was the one throwing up the blood. Tears rushed down my face. I heard a horn of a car, it was my aunt with her mom (her mom is not my grandma). I was crying and it was no use to lie to her so I told her “he's gone”. I rushed back in and then... I don't remember, no I did not black out. I just don't remember. But what I do remember is:

            “He wanted to talk to you but it was too early and you were sleeping” said my mom. I “hated” her for a while, it was the last time I would talk to him and she didn't want to wake me up.

        How he died? Mom knew it was time so she stretched his legs, put his hands together and said “it's ok, I'm gonna be ok”. And boom, he started to throw up, and the rush started.

     With this event that happened I can assure you one thing:  I totally hate cancer, with all my heart and soul.  I really wish it never existed.

     PS: He died the day of my cousin's Birthday, who was really attached to him, and was buried on the day of my birthday.