Everyone but me

I don't know whats wrong with me lately, all I can seem to think about is him, and everything triggers his lingering memory. I don't understand my mind all of a sudden, it has turned foreign, and my life has spiralled epically into the pits of despair. I stare out the window now as the car slowly crawls along the freshly gravelled road, bumping and shaking with every rock that is trapped under the thinly worn tires. Music blasts from the nearly blown speakers and the seats vibrate with the beat. It echoes through my ears and enters my abandoned brain, trying to awaken me from my state of dreaming. I do hear the lyrics, repeating and pointless, but they come from another dimension, unable to pierce the persistent veil that surrounds me like a permanent fog. It comes more frequently, and I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to hold my sanity. This feeling I know very well, we have become acquainted in the closest manor, and the demonic side of my mind revels in it, wrapping itself around it like a snake. This particular snake squeezes at my brain, while it slithers around my thoughts and sinks its venomous fangs into my eyes, making them dead and emotionless to anyone who cares to look closely enough. My expression remains plain and bored, my muscles slack.

"Are you even listening to me!? God Kary, I don't even know why I asked you to come, you're Such a downer!" I glared at my best friend, my eyes mere slits as I let my annoyance seep into them, then I stuck out my tongue. She returned my death stare with an icy look of her own, her lips pursed into "duck lips". Her face was twisted up and made her expression change quickly from deathly to comical. I smiled slyly, my eyes glinting, because I knew the perfect come-back... "Click Click'" I said as I rose my imaginary finger-formed gun to my right cheek, one eye open, the other squeezed shut, "BANG!" I finished as I blew on the end of my fingertips and returned my "gun" to my belt. "What?" Lyssa asked me, totally oblivious."Sorry, I though we were duck hunting," I replied as I grinned widely, she rolled her eyes in fake disgust, but couldn't hold back her smile, and soon we were both laughing hard, tears forming in the corners of our eyes. It felt good, to just laugh with my best friend over something so stupid, it was normal. To most people, normal is constant and boring, but to me, it is a nice change from my everyday world. Not that I want to be permanently normal, because lets face it, normal is SO overrated.

"You are SUCH a dork!" She said with an exasperated sigh. "Oh what-ever! I'm sure you can do worse," I replied. "No I'm serious, I honestly don't know how I've put up with you this long," Lyssa said, making it sound matter of fact that I was utterly horrible. "Ya, well have fun being a loner then." When she couldn't find a witty come-back I took that as a sign I'd won this argument. We continued to drive, only now we are on a smooth river of pavement that made for much better driving circumstances. We pulled into my driveway about an hour later, and in that hour we'd managed to sing at the top of our lungs to all of the Katy Perry songs. Of course, our voices were all but drowned out by the thundering base and the lyrics, so we could have lip-singed and still looked like professionals with our water bottle microphones.

As I got out of the rose-red corvette, I waved over my shoulder, then slammed the door just enough to lock it in place, and headed up my front steps. I easily pulled the string that hung from the eavestrough and inserted the key that dangled as the bronze of its metal glinted in the light from the window, into the lock, turned several times, and then returned it to its former place on our roof. The welcome mat brushing across my bare feet was a nice change from my wedges rubbing against my already rough and blistering heels. Setting my shoes down in the corner of the mat, I made my way down the stairs, skipping the 5th last to avoid the loud creak that escaped the aged wood every time there was so much as an extra pound of weight on it. I didn't bother with brushing my teeth or putting my pajamas on, I just folded over the covers, crawled in, and started to create a cocoon of sheets and blankets for my warm, hopefully long, nightly hibernation. I winced a bit when one of my more scratchy blankets scraped across an already aching blister, but was soon pulled back into the warm spell, and as my eyes grew heavy, I relented and within seconds I was back within the dreaming world. I let my dream occupy my mind, and I fell asleep to the sound of rain hitting my window, and the warmth of my breath on the back of my hand.

My neck felt awful every time I repositioned it against my pillow. I wanted to just sleep long past the hour I had left to get ready for school, but just as I smushed my face back into my blanket, I also looked in the mirror... Suddenly, having any less time to get ready than I already had was just NOT an option. My hairbrush proved useless, unless my goal was to get even more naughts in my hair. My once flawless make-up job now stuck stubbornly, smeared across my face in long, clumpy lines. To make it worse, I had a bit of drool coming out of the left side of my mouth, and I could basically taste my morning breath. Lovely. Grabbing my towel, I headed across the carpeted floor of my slightly cool basement and into my very own, personalized bathroom. By personalized, I really just mean make-up, hair accessories, and heated hair-tools scattered everywhere, along with my endless supply of lotions, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, body scrub, face masks, and then the same things, just with a more expensive label. The hot water sent steaming clouds swirling all around me, and eventually finding their way out of the opening on the top part of the shower curtain. I really don't get that whole lather, rinse, repeat thing. It wastes my products faster, takes longer, and probably gives me scalp cancer. But hey, that's just my opinion.