Amateur - A Jon Cozart fic

Chapter 18 - Powerful Magic

*Carm's P.O.V.*

I'm in New York.  I've got a hotel room. I've got a boyfriend beside me. I've got a youtube channel with 17k subs. I've got a video with just under one million views. I've got an audition for a Broadway show in an hour. But what I don't have, is a sense of security, skill, any idea what I'm doing, or a song prepared.

"Carm, you could always sing Dead Girl Walking. I've heard you do it. You're amazing. There's no way you could not get it with that." replies Jon. We sit, cross-legged, facing one another on our hotel bed. Yes, we're actually sharing a bed this time. And no, there's no frickle frackling. Yet. I don't know what's happening yet. Why am I thinking about the frickle frackle right now? Jesus. I'm the worst. I snap out of my daydreaming daze, remembering that this beautiful man sits in front of me, holding my hands, helping me through this insane amount of stress.

"I don't think that's the right thing to do. I mean, you said it yourself. Create your own magic. If I go straight into singing that song, I'm going to sound like just about every other girl that went into that audition. I need to do something different. Show that I can put my own stamp on the role." He nods slightly, bites his lip, and looks away. The thought of frickle frackling pops back into my head, before I quickly dismiss it. This isn't the time or place.

"You're right, Carm. Create your own magic - now's the time to do it more than ever." His hair isn't done, he's wearing sweatpants, and he still has a sleepy smile on his face, but you can see the magic he's created for himself coming through, and that's what the directors need to see in me. That beautiful, glowing, addictive magic that each person holds to their own. Jon's magic is the kind that keeps you laughing at the smallest things, the kind that is effortlessly perfect, and in my opinion, the most special kind. I used to say back with my old theatre company in Wellington that I know my limits and I won't try and push them. But now, looking into Jon's eyes, witnessing the life he's made for himself and the success he's found, I have found that I need to take my limits and completely shatter them if I'm going to defy gravity.

*An hour later*

They call my name. I stand. Through the doors, into the room, stand on X marks the spot. Gillian, the director, musical director, choreographer, pianist, and me. Welcomes. Responses. 'What are you going to sing today?' 'Defying Gravity.' 'Show us what you've got.' The pianist begins. I start singing. The opening lyrics roll out of my mouth and ring through the air. The light through the window changes, and illuminates the half of the room i'm standing in, creating a warm yellow glow surrounding myself. I don't know where it's coming from, but some kind of inner strength seems to be showing through in my voice. I amp up the belt when nessecary. The director seems very impressed. They were probably just as impressed by the other girls too. I've got to take this further, and actually defy the gravity of any self doubt I've ever had. I want this. Bad.

I'm hitting higher notes than I thought possible. I'm getting more powerful with each word, I don't know where any of this is coming from. Sound travels across the room. And I sound good. Normally, I don't like bragging about my voice. But I will say that here, right now, in possibly the most important moment of my life, I sound really, really good.

'Soon, I'll match them all in renown! And nobody in all of Oz,

No wizard that there is, or was, is ever gonna bring me down.'

Any vocal energy I have left goes into Elphaba's final note.  The piano stops. 'Thank you. We'll call you soon to let you know.' Smiles. Curtsies. Exiting of the room. Out the door, through the waiting room, down the stairs to the entrance. I note that the sun is just about set, and then I see him.

There, leaning against a limos. stands Jon, holding a red rose. He wears a white button down shirt, black jeans and converse. He's obviously put effort into doing whatever this is, I mean, he rented a limo.

"Jon, what is this?" I let out a laugh. He's so sweet.

"Just a wee something to help celebrate this pivotal moment." He opens the door for me, and I curtsey, and then gloriously trip over as I'm getting into the car. I'm the worst. Jon immediately ditches the suave and asks:

"Carm, are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just the damn heels. I never was particularly good in them." I reply, adjusting myself so that I'm sitting on the floor facing Jon, who's leaning into the open door to see if I'm okay.

"Are you sure? That wasn't the most graceful fall-" I laugh, and grab his collar, pulling him in after me. You know that classic thing that happens in movies where the two leads land on one another in an unanticipated situation and it's awkward but hilarious? That. That is exactly what has happened. Jon has landed on top of me on the floor of a limo after an audition for a broadway show. Tell me that this would happen a month ago and I'd probably laugh. But this is very, very real. After a few seconds, we both burst into laughter. Jon rolls off me, and I climb onto the seat. The limo starts, and we begin to move. The lights are tinted purple. There's a mini bar. This required some planning. I'm impressed, I'll admit it. He has his arm around me

"Um. So I got you this rose, but, I crumpled it when you dragged me in." he says, twirling it around between two fingers. He takes the petals , plucks them, and throws them around us in a dramatic manner. Rose petals. I mean, considering I screwed up his original plan of just giving me the rose, this is some good improvisation. Butterflies appear in my stomach as he  slides his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss.He puts his other arm around me, pulls me closer, shivers run down my spine. This kiss starts to get frenchier than a baguette when the limo stops off.

"Ah, our first destination." Jon reaches across to open the door for me, and what do I see but a giant clothing store where literally even one dress costs more than my entire life.

"Jon. What're we doing here?" I look at him with disbelief.

"I'm buying you a dress for our date tonight. Whatever you want. Within reason. I might have three million subscribers but I don't have three million dollars." I look back at him, back at the store, and back at him. He's not joking.

"What're you waiting for, Carm?" We shoot into the store, and the first dress that catches my eye is this red and black eyelash bodycon dress. I grab it, and shoot into the dressing room. Huh. For once I got the right size first try. I step out, and take a good look at myself in the mirror. Damn. I look good. I spiral around to see what Jon thinks. I can tell by the look on his face that he thinks the same.

"That dress looks amazing on you. Holy shit." He eyes me up and down again, appearing to just be taking in the view. 

"D'you mind if I snap this? The world needs to see how gorgeous you are." I nod, he takes out his phone, and I strike a pose. We buy the dress, and get back in the Limo. I get the snapchat notification. He captioned it with a Bo Burnham quote - "A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud about being called one in high school."

"Why did we need to buy a dress for this, Jon? It's not like we're going to a film premiere." I ask sarcastically.

"Um. Yeah. About that. Get prepared for a lot of cameras. Here we go!" The limo stops. Someone opens the door that I don't recognise. Jon gets out and gestures for me to follow.

It's not until I get out of the car that I realise yes, we're at a film premiere, and yes, we definitely needed to get me a dress for this.

"Jon! What is this?"

"This is the Suicide Squad premiere." Oh, fuck. This is amazing. Paparazzi cameras are flashing, and there's Margot Robbie? Holy shit.

"Smile, and enjoy the ride."

Good advice. I think I'll take it.

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HELLO MY NERDS.

I'm tired so this may seem rushed but here it is. The next chapter! Pretty please vote on this, let me know what you liked!

See ya later

~Ellen Cozartist