memories

words

at first we didn't exchange much; maybe a lame five-minute Facebook conversation.
he would never talk to me, anyway; I wasn't like him. and in classes we would continue to be blissfully unaware of each other, even if I longed to know him and his words.

one day I remember so clearly. the teacher was being dumb, as usual. the teacher was yelling about something; anything. and I looked across to him. he looked across to me. and he laughed, shaking his head in disapproval.
I can still remember my heart beating faster as he smiled across at me. I can remember the slight shine in his eyes as he laughed with me. I can remember how his eyes crinkled. I can remember how he laughed towards me and my entire world stopped. he had looked at me - noticed me, acknowledged me. and it was a big deal then - because I had never imagined he would look at me, never ever.
and when he did, it was more than I imagined. when he looked at me, my heart raced and I couldn't help but smile. and it was only for a second, and nobody else noticed, nobody except me. but I will never ever forget that moment. as much as it pains me, and I cry as I write this, I will never be able to erase that memory and those feelings. never, ever.