Looking for happiness

Chapter 1

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And now...

'And then he told me I was wrong. Can you believe that idiot? What a jerk..'
'Kevin? Are you even listening to me?'

'What? Yes...of course..', Kevin mumbled awkwardly. But the truth was he wasn't. 

The ugly truth was that his thoughts were still...there..on that sidewalk , where just a couple of hours ago he said his last goodbye to the man he...

No. He needed to get his shit together. Thinking about what Patrick...meant or still means to him is not a good idea. He'll deal with that later. First he needed to answer his boyfriend and make sure he wasn't suspicious of anything.

'I just told you about that guy at work that always...', Jon stopped. 'Never mind. Is everything OK with you, babe? You look like you're a million miles away..'

'Sorry.. Yes, I'm fine Jon..', Kevin answered, forcing a fake smile on his face. ' just some things at work and deadlines that I'm worried about', he lied.

Shit. What was he doing? He promised himself. No more lies to Jon. Not ever. Should he just tell him the truth? that he met Patrick?

'Is there anything I can do to help?', Jon didn't give him much time to recover and moved closer to Kevin's side of the sofa.

'No..', Kevin shook his head. 'It's just..I have so many things to do at work before we have to move and that makes me a bit restless I guess...', Kevin shrugged and continued with his lies.
Yes. It was best to lie, Kevin finally thought as he answered Jon. At least on this. In the future he will make sure not to lie to him about anything ever again. But this... This was way too sensitive. And what good will it will do if he knew the truth now when obviously Patrick is in their past. History. 

Hopefully, Jon will not dig deeper and Kevin will have the time he needs to process everything that happened earlier today and put it behind him without anyone getting hurt. 

Oh god.. only the thought about Jon finding out is horrible. if he only knew what really was on Kevin's mind then...that will be  catastrophic. Kevin didn't even want to imagine how he'll react. 

Knowing Jon, he will never understand why Kevin agreed to meet Patrick in the first place, after everything that happened between Patrick and Kevin and after everything that happened to Jon and Kevin because of Patrick.
If he was honest with himself,  he wasn't still sure why he agreed seeing Patrick either.

'It will be fine...', the clueless Jon got even closer to him and started touching his hair slowly. Kevin smiled weakly and stared at him . 'Is there anything I can do to make you less stressed Mr Matheson?', Jon whispered as his eyes focused on Kevin's mouth.

God. Kevin hoped to god he'll find strength to reject him without being suspicious, because the last thing he wanted is to be with Jon right now and having these disturbing thoughts in his head. 

'No...', Kevin whispered back and shook his head .

'Are you sure? I can make that stress go away in no time', Jon said as his lips slowly touched Kevin's.

Kevin wasn't moving at first .
'No Jon...not tonight, OK?', Kevin pushed him gently away.

'OK...', Jon's said obviously disappointed and confused.

Kevin stared at him again.. 'Look, It was a really long day. I think I will call it a night, OK?', he gave Jon a small kiss and went to their room.