Once upon a time there lived a boy named Henry. Now today is a school day, so you might be thinking where the teacher is. There is a teacher in this story and his name is Josh. Anyway, let's get on with the story. It was 9:30 am in the classroom and everyone was working hard. Well, nearly everyone was working hard. Henry couldn't stop talking. ''So then i say get out of my room,'' said Henry to his classmate. ''HENRY'', shouted Josh. ''I have had enough of this. For the past two weeks you have been eating pizza in class, hurting people on yard and you kept on talking all week but time you've gone too far,'' said Josh. ''Then how are you going to stop me'', asked Henry cheekily. ''I am going to put you in Detention'', said Josh. ''No, don't put me in detention,'' said Henry. ''No i am not changing my mind'', said Josh. ''I will bring you there after i say something to the class,'' said Josh. ''Class your attention please, i am taking Henry to Detention for the rest of the day, be good for your substitute teacher Sam'', said Josh. ''Hello everyone i hope you will be very good for me today'', said Sam. ''Bye Sam come on Henry lets go'', said Josh. They soon arrived at the detention hall. ''Ok Henry listen to me i am going to stay here to make sure you don't escape from here'', said Josh. ''Look i am sorry can i go back to class now''? asked Henry. ''No you are going to stay here for the rest of the day,'' said Josh. ''AAAWW'', shouted Henry. Meanwhile, the class had never been the same, there was no talking, no chewing noises, everything was quiet. ''My, oh my, this class is brilliant, the best one i have ever been to'', said Sam. Back at the Detention hall Henry was fed up. The teachers were whipping him with ropes, he had to do 100 lines and he was told to stop talking. ''Oh, this is the worst place ever,'' said Henry. ''Well Henry have you learnt your lesson''? asked Josh. ''Yes i have learnt my lesson'', said Henry. ''I will let you go back to class if you promise me that you will stop talking,'' said Josh. ''Yes i will stop talking'', said Henry. And do you know what? From that day on he has kept his promise. He never talked in class ever again. So that means he never got sent to Detention ever again!
The End!
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Oooooookay then. That was a strange trip of a story, wasn't it? And yet I'm having the toughest time coming up with anything to say about it. It's one of those stories where you can appreciate some of the finer elements, but overall it's just dull and nonsensical as ever!
- Firstly, why was this specific example of talking in class the tipping point for Josh's anger? If anything, it should have been the previous pizza incident! To me, this shows that Josh clearly doesn't care about his job. He probably just had an accident at home that morning, spilled tea all over his trousers or something, and was just in a right mood and took his anger out on Henry. I'm not saying Henry wasn't a little bollocks, but if a single case of talking out of turn was enough to land him in detention, I don't think Henry was the problem here!
- Secondly, what kind of school WHIPS THEIR DETENTION STUDENTS??!! This isn't 1953, corporal punishment is not a thing that's supposed to happen anymore! If Henry comes home with marks, the school's gonna be sued up the ying-yang!
- Despite some of the weirder elements of this story, the overall plot is so dull that I honestly can't believe I felt this passed for a good story. Who the hell wants to read about some kid getting in and out of detention? It'd be practically worthless if it weren't for the funnier parts.
- In what universe do primary school kids call their teachers by their first names? That is wrong and ungodly.
Overall rating - 4 out of 10. Boring and monotonous, despite some more surreal decisions.
Join us next time for a bold travelling adventure. I promise, you will like this next one!
(Today's song is 'Wish I Was Skinny' by The Boo Radleys from their 1993 album 'Giant Steps'. While this jangle pop classic has absolutely nothing to do lyrically with this story, the music video's set in a school, so I thought it kinda fit. At least the song is absolutely stellar.)
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