Happiness

The first child (Part 1)

Hakuryuu couldn't understand what was going on in the heads of the servants or his wife. His wife was pregnant and they knew that she would soon give birth to their first child, but who could have known that it would happen today.
He wanted to be with his wife. Of course he couldn't do much besides holding her hand, but he wanted to do at least that. She often had told him that he holding her hand was important to her. Wasn't it important now? Did the servants forgot to tell him? But according to the servant he asked, his wife did ask them not to tell him.
Had he done something that made her angry? Or did she thought it would bother him to be by her side at such an important moment? The more he thought about the reason behind it, the greater became his fear. His life never was easy since the death of his father and his brothers and every time he thought things were finally alright, something bad happened. Before the wedding he feared that something would happen to him or his wife – someone interrupting the wedding or one of them dying. After the wedding he feared the same. Life had been cruel to him, why should it suddenly stop? Luckily, nothing bad had happened until now, but that could change at the very second.
What if something bad happens to his wife or their child right now and he wasn't there – as if he could do something.
He was running through the hallways and every servant that saw him coming jumped out of the way. Hakuryuu almost crashed a lot of times, but he was able to prevent that from happening every time – slowing down was not an option and his goal was near!
The goal was the infirmary of the palace.
There he almost crashed again. This time with a young nurse. Fortunately, he was able to stop at the right time and the young woman already stepped aside.
They looked at each other.
"Where is my wife?"
Silence.
The young woman seemed shocked. Well, one did not witness the emperor running like a mad man through the palace every day.
"Second door on the right", was all the woman could say.
"Thank you."

Hakuryuu pushed said door open and almost crashed again. Why must people always be in one's way, when one is in a hurry? Have those people nothing better to do?
Without an apology he walked past the nurse towards his wife. His attention switched for a second, because he heard someone crying. His child. Children start crying after they were born, right?
He couldn't see his child, because a doctor took care of it right now. Checking whether the child was fine or not.
Hakuryuu wondered why he didn't heard the crying before. Maybe he was too deep in his worries to pay attention to his surroundings – his many almost crashes were also consequence of that.

The first thing he did, when he reached his wife's side, was taking her hand into his and give it a little squeeze. She looked exhausted. Well, giving birth was nothing easy – at least that what he had heard.
She smiled at him and according to her she was fine. He believed her. If something weren't right, a doctor would have already taken action, right?
He sat down on the bed and started to caress her hand.
"Why did you not call me?"
Maybe it was insensitive of him to ask that that now. She was tiered and there were more important things, like their child, at the moment to care about. But his worries mixed with his relief that everything was fine, made him feel sick and strange. He did not like it.
"I'm sorry. I thought it would bother you. You have an important meeting tomorrow and you have to be prepared for it."
She did it for him. Didn't want to be in his way. He was the emperor. He had duties to fulfill and she didn't want get in his way of doing so. She meant well!
"I know that, but I wanted to be by your side. I wanted to be by your side and hold your hand. I wanted to share that moment with you and give you my support, even if there isn't much I could have done for you. I wanted to experience the birth of our first child together with you."
All he ever wanted was to be with his wife.
"I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I haven't put your feelings into consideration, when I told everyone not to tell you. I am really sorry."
Now she was crying, because of him! He made her cry! His selfishness made her cry! It was not her who did not put the others feelings into consideration, it was him. He had only thought about what he wanted to do or where he wanted to be. He never thought about his wife, because he thought she would feel the same way he did. And truth be told, he had made the same decision in her situation.
"Don't apologize. You meant well. It was selfish of me not to think about your feelings. I was only thinking about me and what I want. I am sorry for that."
Hakuryuu place a soft kiss on her forehead and brushed some of her tears away.
"It's alright. I guess, we both made a mistake."
"Seems so."
She smiled again. Oh, how much did he love her smile. Every time she smiled it felt like the whole world would light up.
She was his everything. He could cope with every lose somehow – he had to cope with so many loses already –, but losing her would be his end. She helped him so much to come clean with his past, with his family and with himself. And now she had given birth to their first child.
"Please call me next time."
"I will. Promise!"
He kissed her forehead again. He was so happy.

Someone cleared his throat and draw Hakuryuu's and his wife's attention to him. At that moment Hakuryuu realized that they were still in the infirmary surrounded by nurses and doctors. And one of the doctors were now standing next to them and holding their baby, who had stopped crying.
"Congratulation, your Highness, the empress gave birth to a healthy boy."
The empress reached for the boy in the arms of the doctor, who give the child to her with a big smile.

There were no words to describe what Hakuryuu or his wife felt right now. The relief that everything was fine. The happiness to have a healthy child. The excitement to hold the small child, raise it, love it and make a lot of wonderful memories.
"Look, look, Ryuu-chan. Look at our cute little boy. Look at his tiny nose and those tiny hands with its tiny fingers."
She was so happy. So excited.
He had to try very hard not to start crying out of happiness and enjoyment.
"Take him!"
And he took his son in his arms.
It was a strange feeling to hold such a tiny human. One day that little thing would be a tall, strong man. Life was amazing in this regard.

It was hard to let go of his son and his wife. But he still was the emperor and he had an important meeting the next day. Also there was nothing he could do for his family now. His wife was still exhausted from giving birth and his son was more into sleeping and resting as well. As soon as he finished his preparations for the meeting he would go back to his wife and son.