Untitled Part 1

one

I love the feeling of the sun. The warmth that washes over me and quickly turns my skin a caramel color. I also love the smell of rain. The way it makes the air taste in my mouth and the way it makes everything it touches glisten. If I had to choose the sun or the rain, I'd choose the rain. Rain is always there when you don't want it, but need it. It always heeds the desperate chants of the winds, following closely on the clouds heel. I always imagine a man with skin that shines like the moon running across the sky, dropping the rain behind him like falling stars. It breaks like waves over my skin, some if it being absorbed into the forest of my scalp and the rest bouncing off, feeding the tendrils of my long dark hair. When I was young I loved to swim. I loved watching my hair float behind me, as if it were soft and weightless. In reality it was think and heavy, constantly being in need of a haircut. I find myself plain, never eye-catching but not something to pass completely over. If you saw me, a brief smile would cross your lips then you'd evert your eyes, finding another girl to lay them on. I'm not complaining, I'm happy with what I have. Of course, I don't really care for looks. They've never been a priority. Happiness. That's my priority. Find happiness and you'll find peace. That's what I kept telling myself anyway.

             I've already planned my life out. After I graduate from high school, I'll travel around Canada for a few months. I'm not sure how I'll go about doing that yet. Maybe I'll drive, or walk, or multiple different modes of transportation if that's what I see fit. After that I'll go to university, probably UBCO or UBC.  I'll get my masters or Phd in criminal phycology, then I'll move somewhere I visited after high school. No marriage. No kids. No worries. I'll make good money and once I have enough I'll quit my job and travel the rest world. Frankly, if I don't travel the world then I'll think of my life as incomplete. Traveling and seeing the beauty that we have all around us is not something I want to miss out on. I don't need money or fancy clothes. I need the sun and the rain. The open air. The wind that wants to rip me apart but can't find it in its heart to do so. I want love, and no not from another person. I want the love of the earth to put me to sleep every night and wake me up in the morning. I want waves of ocean water to break over my skin and whisper sweet things in my ear. Have you ever been in a body of water all alone? Maybe your bathtub or something similar to that? Have you ever listened under the surface of the water, and I mean really listened? Could you hear the things it has been telling you, all of the stories it has shared? I want to hear. I need to listen. It drives me. The need pumps through my veins.