Are we all just hiding

Chapter ONE

Back at me stares a girl with bright turquoise hair. Her eyes are brown and her nose is juSt a bit to big for the rest of her face

. The turquoise hair was vibrant and warm.

People would notice me now. Now that my hair was the colour of the sea. People would notice me because do my appearance. Because my appearance would stand out. Not because I as an individual with a brain wired with thousands of thoughts emotions and ideas, may actuarially be someone worth taking notice of. But because I had done something different, with my appearance that is, something out of the ordinary. And no one would expect it from me. I was always so basic and average a plain. I was so and so's friend or that girl who plays on the basketball team but is always a reserve. And that girls name, my name is Ciara Kimmy Rosellna,
But as I stare at the mirror now, all I can think about is what my mums face will look like when she sees me. I wasn't allowed to dye my hair.

I been in bed for a week. Record time. Well obviously I left to go to toilet, get food, shower and I had gone for a run twice. But it was still basically a week. After day three of spending About 22 hours in bed, the bed sores go. I guess after time pain just goes. Normally I would call people who spend a week in bed lazy, normally I would feel lazy for doing so. But I got it now. I mean it's not like I've never felt depressed and tired before. But now I didn't want to get up, to go out and risk feeling normal, happy again and then come back down the rollercoaster of emotions and feel like crap. I should probably been done by now feeling sorry for myself. But I wasn't. I had lost someone so important to me, and not even through death, not through a fall out, she just left.

Her name was Helen. She always hated her name, she said it was old, well my mums name is Helen to, so yeah I guess it's old. Helen (not my mum the other one) was in my life for exactly 2 months and ten days. We clicked straight away, I had only ever imagined friendships like ours, only ever hoped for friendships like the one we had. We met a month before the end of year 11. She was new to the school, and had to transfer over on the day that our GCSEs started. She had a panic attack in the girls bathroom on the first floor. I comforted her and told her how it would be okay because she said she had studied, she was just stressed about a quick change of environment, which was understandable. And then we just kinda clicked. We were both serious but sarcastic, we both cared about our grades but also liked to mess around. We watched the same shows, had read the same books, had the same thoughts on the world and equality and we were both vegan and wanted to be activists but were afraid of haters.
For those two months and ten days we did all kinds of things. We helped each other through our exams . We cooked and baked, we took exercise classes and we went on hikes. On the first day of the summer holidays we traveld for three hours up to London, just to visit the vegan ice cream shop. And we took pictures, lots and lots of pictures. Within the first week of knowing each other we knew all the each secrets. She knew about my parents weird relationship, she knew about every crush I had ever had, she knew my mental state and how I get paranoid often. I knew About how her parents were so happily married that it sickend her just a little bit, I knew About how when she was younger she was in a car accident which caused her to have nightmares every week, I knew how her first boyfriend slept with her old best friend, right after she gave her first kiss to him, and I knew about her anxiety and how exams make her super super anxious, and not just in the normal way.
But then 9 days ago I went to knock on her door as we were meant to be hanging out, but when I got there no one answered, and when I looked in the window everything was gone. She had blocked my number, my snapchat, she had deleted her Instagram and Facebook, all that was left of her was the vines that we had made trying to look all cool in the sun to lana del Ray- something I would have been to nervous to ever do, yet post, before she came into my life. Because that's how she made me feel, like I could do anything and be anything I wanted to be and I didn't have to fear what other people may think. Because of her I wore what I wanted, i posted what I wanted and expressed my opinions without fear, I stood up to my parents, I stood up for the things I believed in, I even organised an anti  ism protest and gave a so speach infront do my whole school at the end of year assembly About sexism and how feminism doesn't mean all men should die and how it means equality and how really it shouldn't exists as equity for genders should just be normalised, but because of all those years ago women had near to zilch rights, the act against the was called feminism as back then it was About getting females equal rights, but we don't hate males. She stood by me when people clapped and applauded, when people laughed and sniggered, when people called me a hippy vegan lesbian. Well when one guy tim Rodgers said that, Helen punched him. If it wasn't the last day of school she would have been in detention, or an expulsion. But like my older sister had told me, nothing good lasts forever, and though that may sound cynical, it's true.