Not bad, not good

This whole week has been bad!!!! three people died and three dogs died and on top of that I got dumped And Allie and des got me at the worst time ever! And I'm not ok I feel like I'm about to fucking kill someone right now, i have been hiding every emotion I have had sense school started! And now I have to deal with more shit then I can fucking handle! August didn't like me as much as I thought. He like Jackie before, when, and after we were dating. 1/11/13 at about 6:45pm I was at the high school with my friend, she was talking to her mom on the phone, I walked off to a corner of the school, and started crying as hard as I could, and shyanna saw me cry and hung up the phone and went to give me a hug and we started walking to the front of the school. Then her mom came up and gave me a ride home. Then I walked in the house everyone was staring at me, like I was a random person walking throw the house. Then my step mom said "stop being a brat!" And I just left to my room and didn't come out until the next morning.

No one woke me up, I got in trouble. No one told me we have to help my grandparents move, I got in trouble. I cleaned the house, I got in trouble. The dog fucked up the yard, I got in trouble. I don't think I can understand this very much longer! I guess I only care about my self. I guess I don't care about anyone else. That's just bull shit! I do care about people more then my self, I do care about the family! I'm not a heartless person! I have been caring about some people that want to kill there selfs! I have been helping them! And I also can't show feelings or emotion or I'll get in trouble. I don't tell my family about things that happened in my life for lots of reasons people might not understand, but it's the truth, all of this is true, this is the only way I can show anything! Is by writing it down. And hoping no one will read it, just my closest friends. And one of my closest friends likes to copy me, and I fucking hate it so much I wish she would stop, but I can't tell her with out sounding like I'm a bad friend.....

If people keep fucking with me, I will black out and fucking kill someone! I won't be able to hold it back anymore! But now my step mom is fucking pushing it to much, because she treats her kids like angles and my and my brother are just like slaves! What the fuck is wrong with her?! We live here we should have just as much as respect as them, not less! But my dad can also say something to her, but he never dose. And my step family don't say anything, they just side with her! What the fuck! The only thing I can look foreword to is hanging with my friend Lukes, I haven't seen him in about 8years. And that's all I look forward to in life right now!

But right now at 1:30pm 11/4/13 I'm getting pissed off at this one girl I know sadly. She thinks she has problems when she really doesn't. When I was talking to three of my friends about it i said in a text message "I'm still pissed Cuz Sydney thinks she has problems and she really don't She is pissing me the fuck off!! And she keeps saying shit and that she is so tuff, when in all reality she is whiter then a fucking ghost, she needs to shut the fuck up or I'm going to kick her ass! I am not fucking joking this time I am going to beat the fuck out of her!" And people still wonder if I'm a nice person when in all reality I am until you push my buttons, which she has! And she needs to shut up before I make her cry on the floor! I won't feel bad about beating her up, I really won't!

But let's look at some good things that happened in the 14 years I have had on this earth. The only thing that happened that's good is I got a boyfriend I really like, I never got to see him that much but I still talk to him every day. That's all I can think of that is good in my life, sorry my first year at high school is really bad. My only year I get as a freshmen is not the best what-so-ever! Sorry that this story of my life is very depressing to you prepes and popular people, but to the people that know what Im going throw thank you for reading. To the people that think they have problems like that girl I know, you can take a good look at your self, and ask 'am I fat?' Or 'am I really have a bad day?' Or even 'should I really keep saying things about my self to make people feel bad for my self?' Or this one, most people just want 'do I just like all the attention?' I think that last one has the most votes.