It's not fair.

It's not fair that I spend my days between the same four walls asking myself 'why am I in so deep?'
A shameful confession that this numbing depression makes me just want to go to sleep
The days were longer when I was stronger and I felt much more alive
But now when I wake I just lie in my bed because I simply do not have the drive
I often wonder why my twisted fate has caused this to happen to me
And why everybody else that has done me wrong continues to live happy
Why everything bad that happens in life is followed by something worse
Is this just a very unfortunate coincidence, because it feels like more of a curse
I know life comes with flaws and you can't have it all there are negatives and there are perks
I may have pretty blue eyes, a slim figure and money but believe me, that's not how it works
When I look in the mirror I just think to myself 'oh, what a depressing sight'
It's rather a pity that nothing is pretty when you view the world in black and white
Its not feeling down or sad or upset, it's an empty feeling where you don't really care
But at night time when it's just you and your thoughts, it's a feeling of ultimate despair
I look fine on the outside so I probably am but, it's just not something you mention
I'd have to be hanging off a bridge or from a noose to get anyone else's attention  
When people show me affection I just couldn't reciprocate, even if I wanted to
Because depression is an evil that controls you're emotions and loves to control you
We assume its the love of another that will make us feel better and make us whole again
But its the people who we love that have the power to hurt us so it never works out in the end
These four walls have seen so much there are many sad moments we share
They have to witness my daily existential crisis, like I said, it really isn't fair.