save me // phan

insecurity // chapter 1

i dont want to be here. i dont think i should be here, im just a boy who has insecurities. there's nothing bad about that, everyone has them. i should be put in this stupid place with stupid people that will never understand what i do through on a daily basis.

i envy the people that work here. they seem so happy and cheery and content with themselves. now you way wonder who i am, probably not because im irrelevant to society but if you are for some strange demented reason my name is dan fucking howell.

my door was halfway open so when i looked through it i saw a boy in the office. he had jet black hair and bright blue-ish eyes that were beautiful, there was no way he was here because of an 'insecurity' or anything. he was way to breathtaking for that. i noticed i was staring when a nurse named 'Zoe' walked in, she was also beautiful but im interested in boys plus she had a husband named alfie. she was basically my best friend in this entire hell of a place. she kept me company which was rare cause i would never respond to her.

"see anything you like?" she said smirking and looking at the boy who was sitting in the office. i just shrugged. "he starting working here ya'know, he's gonna start today" she said while sitting on the edge of the bed. i just stared at her, it made sense since he was literally too perfect to be alive. "well anyways today is your lucky day cause i hear that he's probably gonna be with you" i just smiled widely. he's probably not gay though, someone as beautiful as him probably has a girlfriend.

"i have to get going now though. i'll check on you later" she said while walking out. i just smiled. i shouldn't have to be checked on, i just don't like talking and i personally don't see what's so wrong about that. i just hate my voice so i don't talk and it's been so long that i probably wouldn't know how to even if i tried.

i spent the rest of the day drawing. i just drew old memories from before i went mute. i was given the book from zoe a couple of months ago for my birthday, it's by far the best present anyone has ever gotten me. i draw most days when im not outside but whenever i am im usually drawing what i see, for most people i think drawing is only hard because people don't usually focus on what's right infront of them because they're too busy on their phone or talking to another person about what's the newest trend or what's the latest drama but when you aren't talking you really pay attention to what you see.

today i was drawing a black flower because they represent someone coming back from a war or a battle that everyone didn't expect them too return too. (quick a/n that may not be accurate but oh whale) they were fictional but they meant so much. i heard the door opening and turned around expecting to see zoe but instead it was the boy i saw earlier talking in the main office.

"um hey, i was assigned you as one of the people that im supposed to look after or um.. well help." he looked nervous and played with his hands a lot. i gave him a smile and started to walk towards him. he looked kinda shocked that i was approaching him. so i grabbed part of a paper and wrote "you don't have to be shy.. i don't bite :)"

"so you're the selective mute?" he said after reading the paper. i gave him a small smile and nodded. "sorry im getting all these people mixed up.. and sorry about looking surprised when you walked towards me.. these people aren't exactly friendly.." i gave a small chuckle and wrote "so you're saying that i'm not friendly?" i said it to tease him. he gave me wide "no i meant that the other people are not you, you seem nice and-" he started rambling. i cut him off my waving my hand in his face.

i wrote "im only teasing :p" and showed it too him. "oh" he said with a small giggle. "i thought i had already screwed up on my first day" he said while smiling. i shook my head while going to sit back down to finish my drawing. "well it was nice meeting you." he said in a cheery voice while heading to the door. i waved and watched him leave.

maybe being here wasn't such a bad thing..

A/N: OKAY SO THIS STORY IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN MY LAST ONE (: I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT IF ANYONE IS EVEN READING IT.