The Story of an Anti-Social

Chapter 1

My heart speeds up as my feet approach what has been my kryptonite for my whole life. My mind keeps shouting at me to turn around and run back to my dorm, but my anxiety only makes my feet move forward faster. Faster towards the only thing I've avoided my whole life.

My feet have come to a stop as I've reached my destination. I try to breathe as I'm surrounded by my only fear:

People.

They talk amongst themselves, laughing, arguing. My eyes trail to the sky and I let my face fall flat. I let myself slowly disconnect from my surroundings and my heart begins to steady. Forgetting about the people.. Forgetting about socialization.. Only me.. And my breathing.. And my thoughts..

"Excuse me," a voice interrupts me and I don't bother making eye contact.

I want to say "sorry," thinking that I got in their way, but my mouth can't form the words. My mind is clogged. Clogged with fear.

I finally get the gut to look up and make eye contact with the sweet stranger. He towers over me, but that doesn't make him look any less gentle. His bright blue eyes are complimented by his high cheekbones and his light brown hair is tousled playfully on his head. His skin is tan and smooth, practically flawless. The smile displayed on his face is pure genuine, friendly and shows his perfectly whitened teeth. I catch myself staring like a silent moron and quickly look at the grass without a word.

"Hey, you're in my humanities class, aren't you?" He pushes on. My whole body is trembling. I haven't had a conversation this long before.

I feel my mouth opening to answer him, but I can't make a sound, I practically gag on my fear. My only solution is to nod my head.

He nods, clearly uncomfortable that I haven't even said a word yet. Funny how I can read people so easily when I almost never come in contact with them.

People start to move forward, indicating the doors have been opened. Thinking the handsome man will probably just walk away from me, I walk straight on ahead. Into the sea of people. My lip starts to bleed as I forgot how hard I was biting on it.

I try to wipe off the oncoming blood with my sleeve as I take my seat, but a tissue is quickly put in my face. My eyes shoot up and it's the handsome stranger from outside again.

He half-smiles and shakes the tissue, "Works better."

I smile, I smile my practiced smile I do all the time with people. Based on his eyes and facial change, I can tell he caught that the smile didn't reach my eyes.

Before he can provoke anymore conversation, I take the tissue from him and nod in gratefulness.

After my blood is wiped off of my lip I open up The Odyssey and let the voice of my humanities teacher reading calm me and allow me to drift from civilization once again.

In the middle of class, I feel something hit my arm and see a wadded up paper land on my desk. I set my book down on my desk and take the paper in my hands, opening it up slowly.

Hey, I didn't catch your name? Sorry for the note, I just figured you didn't like talking. I'm Caleb by the way.

My eyes look up to find the man named Caleb. He notices my stare and and turns towards me with a smile. I smile back and get my pen.

Kristen.

That's all I write down before I throw it back onto his desk. I return to the book my teacher is reading and hear nothing but that silent prayer in the back of my head that is nonstop. The prayer that prays for my freedom of isolation.