I can feel him staring at me.
I always can.
When he does it's like my whole body ignites. As if it's answering a call only he can make, only I can answer.
I try and keep my eyes on the board, I try to keep my eyes on the professor in front of me but it's like the more the I try the more I can feel every fiber in my body yearning to turn to him.
His scorching gaze burns me and I try to throw into mind the many things that I've lost because of him.
My friends, my brother, my mother - yet despite all of these things that he's put me through and despite me trying my best to not give into this impossibly magnetic pull, I can't help but remember all the breathless moments.
The nights spent tangled with him, the early mornings cooking in the kitchen, the Sundays spent lounging on his couch - I turn to the right, eyes scanning over the heads of my classmates as if searching for something - a useless gesture, I knew exactly where he was.
Four seats to the right and one down.
Chocolate eyes meet my blue and I feel as if the wind has been knocked out of me.
I look away before I can do something stupid like smile or wave or one of those things that you're not supposed to do when someone that's been such a huge part of your life hurts you in the worst way possible.
I look away but the voice in my head wonders if it'll always be like that. Will I always feel like that about him? Will it always be this constant pull, this constant gravitational tug towards him despite being in a large lecture of hall of at least a hundred students?
Will I always love him?
YOU ARE READING
Intoxicated
Fanfiction"It seems to me, that his love - our love - could be labeled poison and I would drink it, I would drink it willingly always."
