Nirves Of Steel

Chapter 1

I bring the stick of concealer over my cheek and start rubbing it into my skin, the purple splotches disappearing. I finish and quickly throw on a pair of light blue skinny jeans and a gray hoodie. My blonde hair thrown in a bun and chapstick smeared across my lips.

The honking of a car horn sounds from outside and I unconsciously smile, he was here to pick me up as always. I run outside and vault over the door and into the seat of his black convertible.

"Hey gorgeous." Hayden says, kissing my cheek.

"Hey, so do you have Mr. Bleaker for chemistry?" I ask as I pull out my schedule from my satchel. We were halfway through the school year and that meant our schedules got switched. We all got new classes and I was hoping he was in there because I suck at science.

"Yup, I knew how much you were looking forward to cheating off of me in tests." He laughed, his green eyes bright.

I stick my tongue out at him and lean back into the seat, the slightly chilly air whipping through my hair. We reach school and he walks over and opens the door for me, grabbing my bag and lifting it over his shoulder before grabbing my hand.

Hayden and I have been dating since our freshman year ever since he asked me to our school's annual valentine dance. It was our senior year now and we were both going to state university, everyone assumes we'll get married after and they were probably right.

Sure, we had our problems, what couple doesn't right? But we love each other and that's all that matters, the promise ring sitting on my left finger was a reminder of that.

"Nirvana?" Hayden asks, staring at me. I had zoned out, not good.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, my mind had drifted and Hayden hates that.

His eyes darkened before sparkling again, "I asked if you wanted to have dinner with my parents tonight?"

"Yeah sure, I love your parents." And it was true, his parents were really sweet and our town doctors. Being the only two doctors in our town meant the Lancasters were loaded, our town was small with a population of about 1500. On top of that, we lived in the south, which meant manners were big here and so was iced tea.

"Great, be ready around six." He said, smiling. I undid the lock on my locker and handed him my books, which he just laid on top of his, the muscles in his forearms becoming more pronounced. I had fought him on this multiple times, but that's just not how southern boys do it. He'd rather break his arms before letting me open my own door or carry my own books. Whatever. Less exercise for me.

"Can this day be over already? Your mom's peach pie is calling to me." I said, that woman can cook.

"I know me too but think of it this way, you have Ms. Blair right now, so take a nap and the time will fly by." He said grinning, we stopped at my class door and he shifted the books into my hands.

"You're right." I said, sighing.

"I always am, I love you, I'll see you in a bit." He said before kissing me on the nose and booking it to his classroom before the bell rung.

Shaking my head, I entered and sat down in a random chair. New classes meant new seat arrangements, I didn't mind really, I got along with everyone. The class was already pretty filled, people I've known my whole life chattering around me, talking about how Miss Jeanine on Crawley Road had a bunch of her pigs break out of their pens and hold up traffic.

The thing about living in a small town is that everyone knows your business, whether you like it or not. Especially in a town that still acts and looks like it's a part of the 1950's. Not that were racist or anything, although I wouldn't put it past Mr. Rawlins the old coot, he's the local drunk.

I'm about to pull out my sketching pad since Mrs. Blair seems to be taking her time to arrive, when a pair of bright pink nails start clicking on my desk. Did I say everyone? I meant I got along with everyone who isn't Leanne Doughty.

"Hello Nirvana, how are you doing today?" She said, her syrupy sweet voice making me cringe internally.

"I'm fine Leanne." I said, my annoyance made clear.

"Good, Good, well listen I just wanted to give you my condolences because of your mom and all." She said, her voice dripping with sympathy but her eyes clearly looking at me with disdain.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" I said, she was acting like my mom was dead.

"Oh you know, since she lost her job. Must be hard to have to give up your spot in the pageant." She said, and even having the gall to pat my hand.

"Why in Sam's hell would I care about a pageant? I wasn't participating anyways." I said, rolling my eyes.

"I can see that now, clearly." She said, narrowing her eyes at my outfit, my gray hoodie apparently not up to her standards, before turning around.

Leanne Doughty, is the worst person on this earth. She has bleach blonde hair, big blue eyes and a skinny figure, she looked like a regular Barbie doll. She was also the preacher's daughter which was surprising since she practiced some not so holy acts, like sleeping with most of the football team.

I was the complete opposite of Leanne, I wasn't skinny, in fact you could say I'm a little heavy. I had strawberry blonde hair that was almost always in a state of emergency and my go to outfits were jeans and hoodies. A lot of people wonder about the fact that Hayden stays with me, I'm sure they picture him with someone who has more of the southern belle look like Ms. Perfect in front of me.

The thing is Hayden is far from perfect, he may look like it, with his quarterback position, light brown hair, green eyes and his fit 6'2 physique but he was anything but. If anyone asks, I can spin an amazing love story that consists of a future of getting married, having kids and growing old together and I would have them believing every word. Yet the only one I have to convince is myself and it seems that I have to keep doing it more and more often. As a great author once wrote "We accept the love we think we deserve" and those are the words that must be stamped across our relationship or most likely me.

So when Hayden Lancaster asked me out at the valentine dance, I didn't say no. When he hit me the first time, I didn't tell. When he hit me again and again and again and again, I still didn't tell. He didn't mean it, he loved me, he did, I had a box full of jewelry and a closet full of stuffed animals that proved it. I was the fat girl who was lucky he even asked me out in the first place right? Right?! I don't know, sometimes I get so tired of it, of him but I won't do anything, I know it and he knows it, so what's the point in even thinking about it?

So I pretend, I pretend everything is ok, I pretend that I have a wonderful boyfriend, I pretend that I'm skinny. I pretend that I don't come home, shut the door and slide to the floor my body wracking in sobs right after he drops me off from a date. I pretend that I ate something that day. I pretend.

Lucky me, right?