Its time for a Change

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Mark...

I sat there in the empty house.  Chica's paws hitting the floor was the only sound to be heard. I thought about recording some videos, but it seems that's all I do anymore, I wanted something new, ya know out of the regular routine. Chica's head then rested upon my leg all while she looked up to me with big eyes. 'Maybe shes bored too,' I thought as I stroked her golden fur.

   I got up to go see if Chica needed food or water since she wasn't going away to something else like she usually would. As I reached her food and water bowl I found them to be full. She was following behind me with big eyes. I looked at her confused, she looked back only to trot to the front door. She sat down looking to me then towards the door. Sometimes we would go for walks in the park, maybe she wanted to do that? I grabbed her leash and met her at the door.

   We walked through the door only for the fresh outdoor air to meet my face. I walked through the August heat hoping to get into the shade casted by the trees. As we came closer to the park I heard the laughter of young children. A few of the children's eyes became wide open when they saw Chica. This always happened, for it was nothing new. Children would see Chica, then go to their parents and then come to me to pet the golden beauty. A few came up to me, all the while Chica's tail wagging furiously.

   "Excuse me, mister can I pet your dog?" A little girl asked me with a sweet smile.

   "Yes, you can." I said returning her smile.

   "What's its name?" She asked fascinated with Chica.

   "Her name is Chica." I said squatting down meeting the level of the small girl and Chica.

   "That's a pretty name, Chica." She said while a small chuckle escaped my mouth.

   "What's your name?" I asked petting Chica, but her attention still on the girl.

   "Emma." She said smile with Chica's head in her hands.

   "Why that's a really pretty name." I said as I looked around to see children still playing on the old playground equipment.

    "Thank you, what's your name mister?" She asked looking up from Chica.

   "My name is Mark." I said sticking my hand out.

   "Lucas' dad's name is Mark." She said looking at my hand confused but then had a look of remembrance, and immediately.

    "Who's Lucas?" I asked as her head turned back to Chica.

   "My friend, he's over there playing." She said looking up to me with a smile pointing in the direction of her friend.

   "Well why don't you go play with him?" I asked looking to see where her finger was pointing.

   "Oh, yeah I should do that, bye Mark!" She said waving turning towards the playground.

   "Buh- Bye, Emma." I said standing up and taking Chica's leash into my grip a bit better.

   We continued down the concrete trail through the over grown park. I started thinking of what it would be like to have a child of my own. An adopted child to take care of, and love. But what gender, that was the real question. A boy would be easy for me to raise because I've already gone through the process.

   A girl on the other hand, that's a little more complicated. How would I help her through THOSE times. I mean I've heard that daughters have something special to them. Other people say its a feeling in which you don't want to let her go into the world by herself. Would I be a good father? Hell, I can't even take care of myself, let alone a child! But, I wish to feel love that you earn, not just because you have 13 million people watching and like your looks.

   So why not get a child that desires a life from their past and give them the love they deserve. If I get a five or six year old child, they'll have no clue who I am if they are in an orphanage. So why the hell not get a little kid. But which gender do I want? I don't want to seem creepy by getting a daughter, but at the same time I wish to have a sweet little girl. 

   Chica's leash pulled me forward knocking me out of my thoughts. I looked to see a squirrel running through the trees.  Our eyes met and before I knew it my shoulder had a pain from where Chica pulled me forward in hopes to get the squirrel. Instead I stopped her and we continued our way down the path. It soon let out into the town. I turned down the street to continue my way towards the empty house.

   I opened the door seeing nothing but emptiness like it had been for months. Chica ran up the stairs towards my bedroom, otherwise where her bed was located. I ignored her doings and went for the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. I then proceed to go to my bedroom and look up an orphanage somewhere close to me.

   One hour later sitting in my bed with Chica and my laptop passed and I found a 'girls home' not but thirty minutes away. Wait, was I really gonna do this? Me, an inappropriate 27 year old guy, adopting a little girl? Am I gonna tell the fans? No, I can't do that, they'll think its just a stunt for more subscribers or likes, something along the lines of that shit.

   What do little girls like? I mean they are supposed to like princesses and barbie dolls, but isn't that just a stereotype? I don't know I guess I'll have to find out. So right now it was 5:43, and starting tomorrow I was going to be Daddiplier. Wait, no, too much of a mental image. But I will be a dad? Damn I feel sorry for the child that comes with me.     

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