The Six Degrees Of Separation

Six Degrees Of Separation

Trigger warning - suicide attempt (you know I can't help it)

It started with a fight, and ended with pain.

"I think we should break up."

Those words stabbed at Troye's heart like daggers. He forgot what they were arguing about, the only noise in his ear was the sound of glass shattering. His heart.

His heart was fragile, like glass. One little hit and it broke into a million pieces, leaving him with heartbreak.

Now fast forward a few weeks, this is what happened to him.

First, you think the worst is a broken heart.

Troye had no motivation to do anything. He hardly ever got out of bed. Only to go to the bathroom, even then deciding if it was worth getting up for.

He barely ate, he ate something once every week, but not eating anything more than a granola bar.

Sleep was another thing. If a human goes a certain amount of time without sleep, the body will shut down. It was scary how many nights Troye laid awake, staring at the fan blades as they spun around.

He would turn the TV off, just to turn it on again. Talk to himself, anything to make a sound. The silence in his lonely apartment was going to be the death of him.

He held his phone in his phone, his thumb hovering over Connor's name. Tears sprung to his eyes as he chucked his phone across the room.

Tears rolled down his face for the tenth time that day. He cried until he felt he couldn't anymore, but still managed to cry.

He would tell himself to get over him, that Connor was the one that shattered him. But he couldn't, he loved him, from the bottom of his heart he knew he couldn't stop loving him.

It was impossible.

Connor was everything to him. And his everything left him.

But he couldn't let go.

He wondered how Connor was. Was he as heartbroken as he was? Did he still love him? Did he move on?

The thought of Connor with another man shattered his heart even more.

The thought of Connor's arms around another man.

The thought of Connor sleeping with another man.

The thought of Connor's lips on another man's.

It hurt.

It hurt like hell.

But he couldn't change it. If Connor moved on he couldn't do anything about it.

All he could do was just let it happen. As long as Connor was happy he would be fine.

He knew that was a lie, either way he wasn't gonna be fine. He wants Connor to be happy, even if it ends with sadness, he wants Connor happy.

What's gonna kill you is the second part.

He held the blade in his hand. He had gotten up for the first time in three days, only to end it.

It had gone on too long.

He wanted to end it all. The physical pain he felt in his heart had gone on long enough.

The knife felt familiar in his hand, even though he had never picked it up for this reason. It felt like it belonged there.

He set the sharp edge of the knife on his wrist, holding it there for a second, then in one quick movement sliced it across his skin.