It's really difficult for me to get sad I think its weird that sometimes i try to force myself to get mad I envy those people that feel its easy to let out tears men I wish I could be them but sadly I'm not . I haven't felt the cold feel of tears rolling down my cheek in a long while. Most people might say I have the best life ever but i don't really think so. I feel personally that I'm a huge ball of emotions just waiting for something or someone to trigger them and then everything falls out I'm scared of that day. I think its strange that when news comes in that someone died, I don't feel surprised or scared or even sad. I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING. I don't think i have a problem but in a way i do. I'm not a goth but i admire them soo much. Most people call me wicked that i don't have feelings but I'm not wicked I just hardly get emotional. I find it very hard to like people. And if I like you then you must be really special in my eyes. I also force myself to grow to like people and tolerate their problems. Sometimes i sit down and start thinking about the saddest thing possible anything that could make me cry but oddly, nothing. I'm waiting for my cry day the day I'll let everything out.
