The Royals

Stand and Unfold Yourself

Liam and Len just finished greeting their cousins. They're now wondering where their little sister is. "Hey, where's Sofia?" Elanor asked Liam, who shrugged.

***

A girl with dark brown hair, was sitting at a table, drinking. She was so drunk. Her phone kept ringing but she ignored it. "One more" she told the bartender.

"Miss...you've had 10 glasses. You sure you want more?"

"I'm Sofia Henstridge".

"Oh. Ok. I'll get to it then" the bartender said. Let's just say Sofia, has a reputation. Unlike her brother and sister. Sofia is more of a bad girl. She's worse than Eleanor. When she passed out few minutes later, the bartender took her phone and called the person who kept calling.

***

Liam brought Sofia to her room and put her on the bed. "She's worse than us" Len stated.

"I know. And she's like what, 15?"

"18" Len corrected.

"Oh yeah. Even I forgot my own sister's age" Liam sighed.

"Let's go. Tomorrow's the funeral" Len said and she and Liam left Sofia's room.

***

It's Robert's funeral today,  everyone was at the palace stairs, staring at the casket, then Liam went down to the reporter. ''Prince Liam, with heavy hearts, we offer our condolences to you as a grieving nation''.

''One of the great things about my brother was, he wasn't afraid to be his own man. I'll miss him'' Liam said.

***

After the funeral, Sofia, Liam, Len and Helena went to the car. ''My god. You wretched brats. Your brother, my firstborn son, and you can't find the decorum, the civility, to honor his memory. What's wrong with you?'' Helena yelled. 

''Was that scripted too?'' Sofia asked, drinking a glass of champagne.

''We script you because we can't trust either one of you to come up with a reasonably coherent thought" Helena said.

''You know, God forbid we appear incoherent when our brother dies. Or sad. You might try it, queen'' Len hissed.

''You are a little bitch. I'm inconsolable'' Helena said, putting lip gloss on.

''Really? Because our dad is out there genuinely grieving over the death of his son, and you're in here worrying about the family's image and topping off on the Botox'' Liam screamed at her then Helena slapped him.

''At least I'm not sleeping with the help. And she's so plain'' Helena told Liam.

''I think Richard III had it right. Lock the kids in the tower and be done with them. Maybe Henry VIII had it right. He just killed his wives. One of them because she looked fat'' Liam said.

''They always take the good ones'' Helena sighed. 

''How did Robert die?'' Sofia asked, upset. ''All they'll tell us is that it was a military accident''. 

''That's all you need to know'' Helena answered.

''Whatever it was, good for him. If you ask me, Robert was the lucky one'' Len said.

***

They were all eating in silence, until Liam spoke up. ''I was thinking of taking some time off from school. Check up on Robert's charities''. Then Ophelia came in. 

''I asked guests to join us'' Liam said. Ophelia sat beside him.
Ophelia was talking about what she's studying, dad liked it except for Helena. ''Excuse me'' Helena said, standing up but Simon stopped her.

''I think you want to stay for this one Helena'' Simon said. ''I think you all will. So put away your phones and your drugs and your lust for the server's sponge and pay attention. I'm considering asking Parliament for a referendum... to abolish the monarchy'' he announced. 

''What does that mean exactly?'' Maribel asked. 

''That means you'll have to get a job'' Len replied.

''A vote, idiot of my loins, to eradicate us. To erase us'' Cyrus said. 

''Yeah, but who votes?"

''The people'' Cyrus answered.

''But they can't do that. I mean, they're the people. You know, and we're like, us'' Penelope said.

''They can and they have. Ever heard of America?'' Cyrus questioned his daughters.

''But I do not want to be American. I do not want to walk around like Justin Bieber with no shirt on and my trousers hanging off''.

''He's Canadian'' Sofia corrected.

''Even worse. They can't make us Canadian, can they daddy? Canadian and poor like Justin Bieber?''

''The British monarchy always has been and always will be'' Cyrus said, ignoring his daughters.

'''Always will be" killed Robert'' King Simon said, which is true.

''The people need the monarchy''. 

''The people need bread and jobs and a decent wage. They don't need us''. 

''With all due respect, my king, how would you know?'' Cyrus asked.