I married him in Wolfshiem. The night was so cool against my clammy skin. My dance with the devil was fast and steady. One, two, one two. Twirl. Over the abyss. Twinkle toes and snaps. I heard the crowd cheering my name. I've never felt so alive. I woke up upon the river bank. The sound of the river calmed me, few fish nipped at my toes fueled on curiosity. It reminded me back then when I used to sit on mum's lap and listen to her play Erik Satie Gymnopédie No. 1 . I hummed until he came along.
He genuflected next to me, I could feel his breath. Warm and steady. I smiled and opened my eyes. Brown wonder. They stared so passionately. "What are you doing here?" He asked. "Humming." I replied. "What ever for?" I reached up to touch his beard. He did not move. "Your eyes, I see sadness." "You see or you know?" He laughed. Heaven opened for a second. "Both. I can take care of you. If you let me. You don't have to speak now. However I would like to know. Your past life." "Past?" He did not answer but bent down lower. So close, if a whisper closer, lips would touch.
"I'd like that too."
And so they did.
I married him that night. And I told him how they drove me to madness. How the world poisons and kills. How I wished and craved for love and happiness. How I was alone.
And he did not talk.
He did not look away.
He did not judge.
This man, My angel.
My darling angel.
How they treated for things done.
God sees everything.
I wonder how we will survive.
I have nothing yet you do not worry.
What can I do for you?
I only have my love but is it enough?
Am I enough?
When I love, I love hard.
But the demons are constantly chasing me.
They will come for me now that I have stopped running.
And when they come will you stand by me and fight?
Will you be my shield and sword?
My salvation?
I need someone as doomed as I am.
Lies.
Perhaps I am not doomed.
I have you.
I fear I may fail you.
I fear they will consume my soul and I will have to dance again.
Stay by me now no matter how hard it gets.
No matter how scary the words I speak become.
No matter how much I may deny and scream that I am alright.
No matter how much I tell you to leave me.
Please.
Please...
My love.
Meine Liebling.
Don't leave me.
Wolfshiem has no mistakes.
We were meant to be.
Forever.
