The Tale Continues (Saiunkoku Monogatari Fanfiction: Ryuuki x Shuurei lemon)

Chapter 90: Jyuusan's Real Feelings

Jyuusan ate silently as she watched Seiran train the soldiers. He looked so handsome as usual. This prince who is always full of pride. She smiled as she ate the food he gave her. She felt happy that he worried for her.

'But it's only right!' she thought. 'After what he did last night, he really should take care of me.' She stretch her legs and arms. She could still feel a remainder of what happened last night. She loved how possessive he is. She loved how he craved for her. She loved how his eyes gleamed with not just desire but with love as he gazed at her. She loved the words he had said. She had wanted to yes. She had wanted to say that she is his. She had wanted to say that she wanted to be with him. But she couldn't, not until when he say the words she had been waiting for.

But it seemed to be too late now. After all that her elder brother Setsuna have said, Seiran must be thinking now that she is a terrible woman. He must be thinking that she just played with his feelings. He must be thinking that she just followed her brother's orders.

Jyuusan knew however that her elder brother is only worried about her so she cannot blame Setsuna. She wondered if her brother was right. What if she is indeed just Seiran's plaything? What if all she had seen are just pretense and everything was just a game? What if she is the one who is losing?

She had watched how Seiran transformed right in front of her. He was just talking to her sweetly that morning but when the servant said that Setsuna came, he suddenly changed.

Seiran had a dark side. Jyuusan knew that fully well. That's why she called him as deceitful monster. She noticed how Seiran's eyes were gentle when he is looking at Shuurei, Ryuuki, and Shouka. He is different to the people he loves. When it comes to the enemy, and whoever is in his way, he is totally merciless. He is ruthless to whoever tries to harm the people important to him.

He transforms quickly depending on who he is talking with. Jyuusan had always tried to drag out that side of him and see what he really is. And she herself did not know when it started but as she tried to bring out all sides of him she fell for him as she came to know him even more.

He is just like Ryuuki. A lonely prince who only found one person to treasure. Both of the two grew up the way they are due to their environments while they were children.

Ryuuki who grew up abused became so gentle not wanting to let other people feel the hurt he had experienced.

Seiran who grew up in a loveless relationship only looked to achieve and please his father. He wanted perfection to be worthy as the king's son. And in sea of people who only thought of using him, he gave up on trusting people. If he had not been taken in Shouka's family, he probably have turned out to be a heartless and dangerous person.

Seiran grew up protecting those whom he treasure. He did not want to be like his mother who failed to love nor protect him. He lived his life making others smile without thinking of himself.

Ryuuki, Shouka, and Shuurei are the strings that pull him back to being human, to have emotions. He needed people to value so he could continue to live. He finds it hard to live for himself since he does not figure out easily what he really wants.

It took him years to realize he wanted Jyuusan. It was just a coincidence that Jyuusan kissed him while training. But that was Jyuusan's first move for something else.

She had noticed how he looked at her and noticed that he has feelings for her but he was the one who failed realize it first. The first time she kissed him, it was not just for training. She also kissed him because she wanted to do so. She already knew that the feelings inside her which sprouted, is for him.

She knew she may never have a chance with him but when she recognized that he has something for her, she did her best to make him realize it. And now he did. She is just waiting for him to say it. But then here comes her eldest brother wanting to protect her; and ended breaking what she had worked for, for years instead of helping.

She recalled how Seiran looked like when she was nearly raped, she can almost see his blood boiling and his eyes were flaming it could burn. She felt his desire to protect her and she was comforted by that.

When Seiran kissed her with warmth, her heart had fluttered then. She was so happy when he did not look the least bit disgusted to kiss her despite being kissed by another man. He was not disgusted to kiss and touch where he had seen the kiss marks too, instead, he lavished those to replace it with his'.

He did not know how her heart pounded and how butterflies seemed to dance in her stomach as he touched and kissed her. She was able to return to sleep that night since she was reassured that the one she had wanted to offer herself to, would still want her.

She was really happy when he took her for the first time. She is really happy it was him. She was relieved that she was able to offer him her first and he happily took it. She was relieved that no one else could take away her first time from him. She's tired of always distancing herself from men.

She had wanted to tell him that she loves him. But she had already done the first move. She won't tell him if he wouldn't tell her through words how really felt. She was the one made the opening, now she wondered if she would also be the one closing it; painfully this time.

Is she going to say goodbye to this love again this time? Just like how she said goodbye to her feelings for Jin and for Ryuuki, she wondered if she cannot be with Seiran too.

She always brings trouble to the people she loved. She wondered if it is the same to Seiran. Well, she sure troubles him purposefully. But he looked so lonely living alone in his mansion that she wanted to accompany him.

Seiran too must be like Ryuuki who didn't like being alone. He is a part of the royal family too. He knew how lonely it is to be surrounded by so many people yet not being loved by any of them. Jyuusan wanted to take care of him and make him feel loved.

Next Chapter: You are Part of it too